Golf stories, English; Golfers -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English
And what of Felicia, meanwhile? She was, alas, far from returning
the devotion which scorched Chester’s vital organs. He seemed to her
precisely the sort of man she most disliked. From childhood up Felicia
Blakeney had lived in an atmosphere of highbrowism, and the type of
husband she had always seen in her daydreams was the man who was simple
and straightforward and earthy and did not know whether Artbashiekeff
was a suburb of Moscow or a new kind of Russian drink. A man like
Chester, who on his own statement would rather read one of her mother’s
novels than eat, revolted her. And his warm affection for her brother
Crispin set the seal on her distaste.
Felicia was a dutiful child, and she loved her parents. It took a
bit of doing, but she did it. But at her brother Crispin she drew
the line. He wouldn’t do, and his friends were worse than he was.
They were high-voiced, supercilious, pince-nezed young men who talked
patronisingly of Life and Art, and Chester’s unblushing confession that
he was one of them had put him ten down and nine to play right away.
You may wonder why the boy’s undeniable skill on the links had no power
to soften the girl. The unfortunate fact was that all the good effects
of his prowess were neutralised by his behaviour while playing. All
her life she had treated golf with a proper reverence and awe, and in
Chester’s attitude towards the game she seemed to detect a horrible
shallowness. The fact is, Chester, in his efforts to keep himself from
using strong language, had found a sort of relief in a girlish giggle,
and it made her shudder every time she heard it.
His deportment, therefore, in the space of time leading up to the
proposal could not have been more injurious to his cause. They started
out quite happily, Chester doing a nice two-hundred-yarder off the
first tee, which for a moment awoke the girl’s respect. But at the
fourth, after a lovely brassie-shot, he found his ball deeply embedded
in the print of a woman’s high heel. It was just one of those rubs of
the green which normally would have caused him to ease his bosom with a
flood of sturdy protest, but now he was on his guard.
“Tee-hee!” simpered Chester, reaching for his niblick. “Too bad, too
bad!” and the girl shuddered to the depths of her soul.
Having holed out, he proceeded to enliven the walk to the next tee with
a few remarks on her mother’s literary style, and it was while they
were walking after their drives that he proposed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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