Golf stories, English; Golfers -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English
He spoke bitterly and with the air of one who has been following a
train of thought. He had come into the smoking-room of the club-house
in low spirits at the dusky close of a November evening, and for some
minutes had been sitting, silent and moody, staring at the log fire.
“Merely a pastime,” said the young man.
The Oldest Member, nodding in his arm-chair, stiffened with horror, and
glanced quickly over his shoulder to make sure that none of the waiters
had heard these terrible words.
“Can this be George William Pennefather speaking!” he said,
reproachfully. “My boy, you are not yourself.”
The young man flushed a little beneath his tan: for he had had a good
upbringing and was not bad at heart.
“Perhaps I ought not to have gone quite so far as that,” he admitted.
“I was only thinking that a fellow’s got no right, just because he
happens to have come on a bit in his form lately, to treat a fellow as
if a fellow was a leper or something.”
The Oldest Member’s face cleared, and he breathed a relieved sigh.
“Ah! I see,” he said. “You spoke hastily and in a sudden fit of pique
because something upset you out on the links to-day. Tell me all. Let
me see, you were playing with Nathaniel Frisby this afternoon, were you
not? I gather that he beat you.”
“Yes, he did. Giving me a third. But it isn’t being beaten that I mind.
What I object to is having the blighter behave as if he were a sort of
champion condescending to a mere mortal. Dash it, it seemed to bore him
playing with me! Every time I sliced off the tee he looked at me as if
I were a painful ordeal. Twice when I was having a bit of trouble in
the bushes I caught him yawning. And after we had finished he started
talking about what a good game croquet was, and he wondered more people
didn’t take it up. And it’s only a month or so ago that I could play
the man level!”
The Oldest Member shook his snowy head sadly.
“There is nothing to be done about it,” he said. “We can only hope that
the poison will in time work its way out of the man’s system. Sudden
success at golf is like the sudden acquisition of wealth. It is apt
to unsettle and deteriorate the character. And, as it comes almost
miraculously, so only a miracle can effect a cure. The best advice I
can give you is to refrain from playing with Nathaniel Frisby till you
can keep your tee-shots straight.”
“Oh, but don’t run away with the idea that I wasn’t pretty good off the
tee this afternoon!” said the young man. “I should like to describe to
you the shot I did on the--”
“Meanwhile,” proceeded the Oldest Member, “I will relate to you a
little story which bears on what I have been saying.”
“From the very moment I addressed the ball--”
“It is the story of two loving hearts temporarily estranged owing to
the sudden and unforseen proficiency of one of the couple--”
“I waggled quickly and strongly, like Duncan. Then, swinging smoothly
back, rather in the Vardon manner--”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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