He has occasional fits of spasmodic piety, and then tries to read his Bible, and invariably goes to sleep and lets the book fall into the ashes--and I verily believe, that though his eternal salvation depended upon his reading three chapters of the Gospel without having a fit of somnambulism, he would go fast asleep before he had accomplished three verses. Put ourselves into our new clothes and started on our tour. Went to the Smiths, Thompsons, Tompkins, Greens, Browns, Wiggins, Robinsons, &c.; in all these places there was the same performance, without change of programme. I give the formula-- Enter--speak to the lady of the house--"happy New Year," compliments--happy returns--take a glass of wine with the ladies--another of brandy or punch with the father--nibble a little cake--exit--to be repeated "_ad libitum_." At Jones' they had, on a side-table, a plate under a placard labelled "for the poor"--and every visitor was expected to drop in a contribution. Some malicious person has recollected that the Joneses did the same thing last year, and his inconvenient and libellous memory has also recalled the circumstance that soon after New Year's, the two daughters of Jones had new silk dresses, and Mrs. J. rejoiced in a new cloak and hat of the richest style, and he says that Brogley, the broker, told him that on the 3rd of January last, Jones got some "tens" and "twenties" of him in exchange for small money, and made him give him two per cent. over because so much of it was silver change--and, in fact, he insinuates that as the money was to be "for the poor," Jones voted himself as poor as any body, and kept the proceeds--and rumor whispers that the Joneses won't have half so many calls this year as last, because their friends object to being taxed to pay their milliners' bills. At Snooks' we found the doors closed, and a basket hung outside, in which to deposit cards--thought of the foundling hospital, &c. Odd circumstance, very--but in all the parlors we visited that day I noticed one unvarying peculiarity of furniture--there were in no single parlor any two chairs of the same pattern--but they were of all shapes, sizes, dimensions, capacities, and degree of discomfort--from the damask-covered to the unvarnished, which looked as if they had strayed in from the kitchen. The effect of this arrangement is to impress a stranger with the idea that the owner of the establishment has been compelled to furnish his drawing-room from the chaotic assortment of a second-hand furniture store.