Carlia had been absent from the Sunday meetings for a number of weeks,
so when she appeared in her place in the choir on a Sunday late in
January, Dorian noticed the unusual pallor of her face. He wondered if
she had been ill. He resolved to make another effort, for in fact, his
heart went out to her. At the close of the meeting he found his way to
her side as she was walking home with her father and mother. Dorian
never went through the formality of asking Carlia if he might accompany
her home. He had always taken it for granted that he was welcome; and,
at any rate, a man could always tell by the girl's actions whether or
not he was wanted.
"I haven't seen you for a long time," began Dorian by way of greeting.
The girl did not reply.
"Been sick?" he asked.
"Yes--no, I'm all right."
The parents walked on ahead, leaving the two young people to follow.
Evidently, Carlia was very much out of sorts, but the young man tried
again.
"What's the matter, Carlia?"
"Nothing."
"Well, I hope I'm not annoying you by my company."
No answer. They walked on in silence, Carlia looking straight ahead, not
so much at her parents, as at the distant snow-clad mountains. Dorian
felt like turning about and going home, but he could not do that very
well, so he went on to the gate, where he would have said goodnight had
not Mrs. Duke urged him to come in. The father and mother went to bed
early, leaving the two young people by the dining-room fire.
They managed to talk for some time on "wind and weather". Despite the
paleness of cheek, Carlia was looking her best. Dorian was jealous.
"Carlia," he said, "why do you keep company with this Mr. Lamont?"
She was standing near the book-shelf with its meagre collection. She
turned abruptly at his question.
"Why shouldn't I go with him?" she asked.
"You know why you shouldn't."
"I don't. Oh, I know the reasons usually given, but--what am I to do.
He's so nice, and a perfect gentleman. What harm is there?"
"Why do you say that to me, Carlia?"
"Why not to you?" She came and sat opposite him by the table. He was
silent, and she repeated her question, slowly, carefully, and with
emphasis. "Why not to you? Why should you care?"
"But I do care."
"I don't believe it. You have never shown that you do."
"I am showing it now."
"Tomorrow you will forget it--forget me for a month."
"Carlia!"
"You've done it before--many times--you'll do it again."
The girl's eyes flashed. She seemed keyed up to carry through something
she had planned to do, something hard. She arose and stood by the table,
facing him.
"I sometimes have thought that you cared for me--but I'm through with
that now. Nobody really cares for me. I'm only a rough farm hand. I know
how to milk and scrub and churn and clean the stable--an' that's what I
do day in and day out. There's no change, no rest for me, save when he
takes me away from it for a little while. He understands, he's the only
one who does."
"But, Carlia!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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