Yes, convention is the great breeder of falsehood. How many are forced to play their life long a part strangely foreign to themselves? And how difficult it is to discern in ourselves a feeling not previously described, labelled, and present before us as a model! Man finds it easier to imitate everything than to invent anything. How many are content to live their lives warped by untruth, and find, none the less, in the very falsity of convention more comfort and less need for effort than in straightforward affirmation of their personal feelings! Such affirmation would require of them an effort of invention utterly beyond them. “‘I’ll tell you a killing little anecdote, Alexey Ivanovitch,’ said Trusotsky. ‘I thought of it this morning in the carriage. I wanted to tell you of it then. You said just now “hangs on people’s necks.” You remember perhaps Semyon Petrovitch Livstov, he used to come and see us when you were in T----: well, his younger brother, who was also a young Petersburg swell, was in attendance on the Governor at V----, and he too was distinguished for various qualities. He had a quarrel with Gobulenko, a colonel, and considered himself insulted, but he swallowed the affront and concealed it, and meanwhile Gobulenko cut him out with the lady of his heart and made her an offer. And what do you think? This Livtsov formed a genuine friendship with Gobulenko, he quite made it up with him, and, what’s more, insisted on being his best man: he held the wedding crown and when they came out from under it, he went up to kiss and congratulate Gobulenko. And in the presence of the Governor and all the honourable company, with his swallow-tail coat, and his hair in curl, he sticks the bridegroom in the stomach with a knife--so that he rolled over! His own best man! What a disgrace! And, what’s more, when he’d stabbed him like that, he rushed about crying: “Alas, what have I done! Oh, what is it that I’ve done!” with floods of tears, trembling all over, flinging himself on people’s necks, even ladies. “Ah, what have I done!” he kept saying, “what have I done now!” He--he--he! he was killing. Though one feels sorry for Gobulenko, perhaps, but after all, he recovered.’ “‘I don’t see why you told me this story,’ observed Velchaninov, frowning sternly. “‘Why, all because he stuck the knife in him, you know,’ Pavel Pavlovitch tittered....”[90] And in similar fashion, Pavel Pavlovitch’s real spontaneous feeling expresses itself, when he is unexpectedly obliged to nurse Velchaninov, down with a liver complaint.