Bildungsromans; Psychological fiction; Young women -- Fiction
‘There you go again! Never mind about your weaknesses. I was only
teasing you. Let me see you smile.’
To obey him her lips went upwards sorrowfully; but when she saw his
laughing, coaxing face, her heart had to lift too.
‘Well you’re very nice anyway,’ he said, ‘serious or no. Have you
forgiven me?’
‘Oh yes. Yes, Roddy.’
As she said it she realised with a passing prophetic sense of
helplessness and joy and fear that whatever he did she would always
inevitably forgive him. But she must not tell him that, yet.
Martin and Mariella came strolling back from the garden, the spark of
their cigarettes going before them. She heard Mariella’s little laugh
bubbling out contentedly, her childish voice answering his in an easy
chatter. Yes, Mariella was happy with Martin. He was polite and kind to
her, and she was equal to him without effort. As she came into the light
Judith was struck afresh by the lack of all emphasis, the careful
absence of any one memorable feature in the memorable whole of her
beauty. Her lovely athletic body effaced itself in simple clothes of no
particular fashion or cut; subdued in colour, moderately long,
moderately low in their necks and short in their sleeves,--negative
clothes that nevertheless were distinguished, and said “Mariella” and
nothing else in the world.
It was time to go.
‘Oh, must you?’ said Mariella.
Roddy said not a word. He had detached himself as soon as the others
came in, and was idly busy in a corner, tuning a guitar. Either he had
not heard or was not interested. It seemed impossible that his face had
been off its guard a few minutes ago, warming and lighting in swift
response.
Julian lounged in again silently, a book in his hand. He looked tired
and fierce, as if daring her to remember his recent lapse into
friendliness. The strange disheartening people....
She stammered: ‘Well, good-night everybody. Thank you so much.’
‘One of the boys will see you home,’ said Mariella dubiously.
‘Oh no. It isn’t necessary. I’ll just climb over the wall if the gate’s
locked. I shall be quite all right, honestly....’
There was no need to protest. They dismissed the matter in silence.
‘Well, come in any time,’ said Mariella.
But any time was no good. She had dreaded just such a non-committal
invitation. Any time probably meant never. Despondently she looked back
to smile her thanks; and as her eyes took in the group of them standing
there looking at her, she felt suddenly startled.
But they were all alike!
So strange, so diverse in feature and colour, they yet had grown up with
this overpowering likeness; as if one mind had thought them all out and
set upon them, in spite of variations, the unmistakable stamp of itself.
Alone among all the tall distinguished creatures Roddy made sharp
departure, and preserved, though not wholly intact, the profounder
individuality of his unimportant features.
4
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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