Bildungsromans; Psychological fiction; Young women -- Fiction
It was some weeks later. The day had been long and fruitless. She had
idled through the hours, playing the piano, reading ‘_Pecheurs
d’Islande_’ with voluptuous sorrow, doing nothing. A letter from her
mother in Paris had arrived in the afternoon. They were not coming home
just yet. Father had caught another of his colds and seemed so exhausted
by it. He was in bed and she was nursing him, and it had meant
cancelling his party, that party. Why should not Judith come out and
join them, now that her examinations were over? It would amuse her; and
Father would be glad to have her. They would expect her in a few days;
she was old enough now to make the journey by herself.
Her heart was heavy. She could not leave the house, the spring garden,
this delicious solitude, these torturing and exquisite hopes. How could
she drag herself to Paris when she dared not even venture beyond the
garden for fear of missing them if they came for her? If she went now,
the great opportunity would be gone irrevocably; they would slip from
her again just as life was beginning to tremble on the verge of
revelation. She must devise an excuse; but it was difficult. She
swallowed a few mouthfuls of supper and wandered back into the library.
The last of the sun lay in the great room like blond water, lightly
clouded, still, mysterious. The brown and gold and red ranks of the dear
books shone mellow through it, all round the room from the floor three
quarters way to the ceiling; the Persian rugs, the Greek bronzes on the
mantlepiece, the bronze lamps with their red shades, the tapestry
curtains, the heavy oak chairs and tables, all the dim richnesses, were
lit and caressed by it into a single harmony. The portrait of her father
as a dark-eyed, dark-browed young man of romantic beauty was above the
level of the sun, staring sombrely down at his possessions. She could
sit in this room, especially now with hair brushed smooth and coiled low
across the nape, defining the lines of head and neck and the clear
curve of the jaw,--she could sit alone here in her wine-red frock and
feel part of the room in darkness and richness and simplicity of line;
decorating it so naturally that, if he saw, his uncommunicating eyes
would surely dwell and approve.
She and the young man of the portrait recognised each other as of the
same blood, springing with kindred thoughts and dreams from a common
root of being, and with the same physical likeness at the source of
their unlikeness which she had noticed in the cousins next-door. She was
knit by a heart-pulling bond to the portrait; through it, she knew she
loved the elderly man whose silent, occasional presence embarrassed her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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