Bildungsromans; Psychological fiction; Young women -- Fiction
‘I shall look forward to that. Perhaps I’ll see Martin sometimes too.
Perhaps it won’t be so bad.... Roddy, do you realize I’ve never known
anyone of my own age except the gardener’s little girl and one or two
local children--and all of you? After you left, when we were little, I
was so lonely I.... You don’t know. Daddy would never let me be sent to
school. Now you’re back, I expect every day to wake up and find you all
vanished again.’
‘We shan’t vanish again.’
‘If only I were sure!’
‘I’m sure.’
‘Oh, you! You’re the most vanishing of all. You slip through my
fingers.’
‘Not I. It’s you who do that.’
‘I?’
‘Yes. You elude....’ He made a gesture with his hand. ‘I don’t
understand how you work. You’re an enigma. You intrigue me.’
‘I’m very glad.’
‘And I’m afraid of you.’
‘You’re not. You’re only amused at me.’
‘No. You’re wrong.’
He fell silent, smoking and watching her; all his attention fixed in his
eyes. It was as if he could not look away. Her head swam, and she
stammered:
‘What are you thinking?’
‘That it’s a good thing we--agree so--completely about the standards of
conduct proper between the sexes; otherwise it might be a good thing
you’re so exceptionally forgiving.’ His voice had an edge of question.
‘Roddy, what are you talking about?’
‘Nothing. A slight emotional conflict,--now resolved.’
He sat up suddenly, brushing some mood all in a minute from his mind and
his eyes and his voice. He lit another cigarette and started paddling.
Supposing Roddy had been going to say: ‘Kiss me?’ ... Better not to
think about it.
The stars were bright now: it must be dark enough for Martin’s
fireworks. Things were happening next-door: Martin was preparing to
celebrate in earnest. He had hung a row of fairy lanterns all along the
eaves of the verandah, and the lights glowed rose, blue, green and white
among the leaves of the vine. His shadowy figure was moving on the lawn,
and another moved beside it: that was Tony Baring, Roddy explained, his
friend and Martin’s, staying for the night. Julian was playing the
piano; he was visible in profile against the window.
‘What a party, Roddy! And I the only lady. Please protect me.’
‘Oh yes, we all will. We’ll each protect you against all the others, so
you’re fairly safe.’
A sudden light flared up in the garden.
‘Hey!’ said Martin’s voice. ‘Hi! Here everybody! My fireworks have
started. Where the hell has Roddy got to? I wanted----’
‘Here we are!’ shouted Judith. ‘Hullo, Martin! Martin! We’re here, we’re
watching. Hurrah for you, Martin!’
‘Oh good! Is that you, Judy? I’ve got some pretty hot stuff here.
Watch!’
He spoke in the anxious excited voice of a small boy displaying the
charms of his hobby to some indulgently attentive adult.
‘Oh, Martin, that’s splendid. Oooh, what a beauty! How I adore
fireworks!’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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