“I had no idea you were down here!” I exclaimed; and I wondered whether
she didn’t know me at all or knew me only by my voice.
“You thought I was Mrs. Meldrum,” she very quietly remarked.
It was the quietness itself that made me feel the necessity of an answer
almost violently gay. “Oh yes,” I laughed, “you have a tremendous deal
in common with Mrs. Meldrum! I’ve just returned to England after a long
absence and I’m on my way to see her. Won’t you come with me?” It struck
me that her old reason for keeping clear of our friend was well disposed
of now.
“I’ve just left her; I’m staying with her.” She stood solemnly fixing
me with her goggles. “Would you like to paint me _now?_” she asked. She
seemed to speak, with intense gravity, from behind a mask or a cage.
There was nothing to do but to treat the question with the same
exuberance. “It would be a fascinating little artistic problem!” That
something was wrong it was not difficult to perceive; but a good deal
more than met the eye might be presumed to be wrong if Flora was under
Mrs. Meldrum’s roof. I had not for a year had much time to think of her,
but my imagination had had sufficient warrant for lodging her in more
gilded halls. One of the last things I had heard before leaving England
was that in commemoration of the new relationship she had gone to stay
with Lady Considine. This had made me take everything else for
granted, and the noisy American world had deafened my ears to possible
contradictions. Her spectacles were at present a direct contradiction;
they seemed a negation not only of new relationships but of every old
one as well. I remember nevertheless that when after a moment she walked
beside me on the grass I found myself nervously hoping she wouldn’t as
yet at any rate tell me anything very dreadful; so that to stave off
this danger I harried her with questions about Mrs. Meldrum and, without
waiting for replies, became profuse on the subject of my own doings. My
companion was completely silent, and I felt both as if she were watching
my nervousness with a sort of sinister irony and as if I were talking
to some different, strange person. Flora plain and obscure and soundless
was no Flora at all. At Mrs. Meldrum’s door she turned off with the
observation that as there was certainly a great deal I should have to
say to our friend she had better not go in with me. I looked at her
again--I had been keeping my eyes away from her--but only to meet her
magnified stare. I greatly desired in truth to see Mrs. Meldrum alone,
but there was something so pitiful in the girl’s predicament that I
hesitated to fall in with this idea of dropping her. Yet one couldn’t
express a compassion without seeming to take too much wretchedness for
granted. I reflected that I must really figure to her as a fool, which
was an entertainment I had never expected to give her. It rolled over me
there for the first time--it has come back to me since--that there is,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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