Lord Chesterfield, on viewing Lady M----, a reputed Jacobite, adorned with Orange ribands at the anniversary ball at Dublin, in memory of King William, thus addressed her, extempore:-- “Thou little Tory, where’s the jest To wear those ribbons in thy breast; When that breast, betraying shows The whiteness of the rebel rose?” BON MOT OF NELSON. Lord Nelson was as decided and animated in his intercourse with his friends as with the enemies of his country. Captain Berry had served with him in the unfortunate affair of Teneriffe; and, on their return to England, accompanied him to St James’s. The King, with his accustomed suavity, lamented the gallant admiral’s wounds. “You have lost your right arm,” observed his Majesty. “But not my right hand,” replied the other, “as I have the honour of presenting Captain Berry to your Majesty.” ANECDOTE OF QUIN. Dining one day at a party in Bath, Quin uttered something which caused a general murmur of delight. A nobleman present, who was not illustrious for the brilliancy of his ideas, exclaimed, “What a pity ’tis, Quin, my boy, that a clever fellow like you should be a player.” Quin fixed and flashed his eye upon the person, with this reply, “What would your lordship have me be?--a Lord!” I MYSELF AM CARLINI. An unfortunate man, miserably afflicted with a hypochondriacal complaint, consulted M. Tronchin, the physician, “You want amusement, sir,” said Tronchin to him; “go and see Carlini:[F] he will make you laugh, and will do you more good, than any thing I can prescribe for you.” “Alas, sir,” said the patient, “_I myself am Carlini_.” ALL LADIES IN TIME. In Queen Anne’s reign, the Lord B---- married three wives, who were all his servants. A beggar woman, meeting him one day in the street, made him a very low courtesy. “Ah! God Almighty bless you,” said she, “and send you a long life! if you do but live long enough, we shall all be ladies in time.” HONESTY TOO DEAR. A magistrate remonstrating with a culprit of the poor class, who had been frequently before him, asked him why he did not contrive to pursue an honest course? The other, who had got some gin under his girdle, replied, “Upon my soul, please your worship, I can’t _afford_ to be honest.” LOVE OF COUNTRY. George II., when riding through Brentford in dirty weather, was accustomed to say, “I do love this place, it is so like Germany.” GRATITUDE.