If the desire is harmful, explain why, but if a child asks for a toy, do not pettishly reply: "It's nearly bedtime!" when it is not, or even if it is. Discipline is essential, but discipline does not consist in inconsistent nagging; harshly insisting on unquestioning obedience to some unreasonable command one moment, and weakly giving way--to avoid a scene--on some matter vitally affecting the child's welfare the next. There must be no coddling, and no inducement to self-pity. Such children must be taught that they are capable of real success and real failure, and that upon personal obedience to the laws of health of body and of mind, this success or failure largely depends. A child should be early accustomed to have confidence in himself. For this purpose all about him must encourage him and receive with kindliness whatever he does or says out of goodwill, only giving him gently to understand, if necessary, that he might have done better and been more successful if he had followed this or that other course. Nothing is more apt to deprive a child of confidence in himself than to tell him brutally that he does not understand, does not know how, cannot do this or that, or to laugh at his attempts. His educators must persuade him that he _can_ understand, and that he _can_ do this thing or that, and must be pleased with his slightest effort. It seems a trifle to let a child have the run of cake plate or sweet-tray, or to stay up "just another five minutes, Mummy!" to avoid a howl, but these are the trifles that sow acts to reap habits, habits to reap character, and character to fulfil destiny. It is selfish of parents to avoid trouble by not teaching their children habits of obedience, self-restraint, order and unselfishness. Between five and ten is the age of greatest imitation, when habits are most readily contracted. Come to no decision until hearing the child's wishes or statements, and thinking the matter out; having come to it, _be inexorable_ despite the wiles, whines and wails of a subtle child. Reduce both promises and threats to a minimum, but _rigidly_ fulfil them, for a threat which can be ignored, and a promise unfulfilled, are awful errors in training a child. Persuade, rather than prohibit or prevent, a child from doing harmful actions. If it wants to touch a hot iron, say clearly it is hot, and will burn, but _do not move it_. Then, if the child persists, it will touch the iron tentatively, and the small discomfort will teach it that obedience would have been better. Let it learn as far as possible by the hard, but wholesome, road of experience. Makeshift answers must never be given to a child. Awkward questions require truthful answers, even though these only suggest more "Whys?"