Meredith was ordering the dinner. Dorn stared out over the room.
Anna was watching him with her senses. Why didn't he speak to her as
Eddie did? Perhaps he was going mad. His eyes suffered. He looked at
things and seemed to hurt himself with looking. She kept her voice
vibrant with a hope of joyousness. "I mustn't give in to the nightmare.
It's only imagining...."
"Erik, dearest, do eat something. Let me order for you."
Talk, talk! Dorn listened. Anna was saying, "Eddie thinks as you do
about the war, Erik. Isn't that odd?" Yes, that anybody should be able
to think as he did. He was a God. A super-God. If only she hated him. A
moment of hate in her eyes would be heaven.
"A plain case of accepting an evil and making the best of it," laughed
Meredith. "If we go in all I ask is for God's sake let's keep our eyes
open and not slobber around."
Soft remonstrances from Tesla with polite references to Wall Street.
Food on platters. An air of slight excitement with Anna directing the
talk and serving. What made her so vivacious? The sight of an old
friend, Meredith? Meredith ... oh, yes, school days, long ago. A wild
hope unfolded itself in Dorn. He looked at the man anew. Fantastic
notion. But throw them together, day and night. Cafés, dancing, music,
propinquity. He was her type--kindly, unselfish, prosperously elate
over life. He'd help her on with her wraps and be polite over doorways.
Perhaps. He turned to his wife and laughed softly. A way out. Give her
to the man. Give her away. End her love for him--her damned, torturing
love that made him turn over inside and weep at night when she was
asleep; that hounded him like an unclean memory. It was only her love
that made him unclean. He looked at her with his eyes lighted.
"Dancing makes a difference, doesn't it, dear? I'd dance myself, only my
legs are tired."
He smiled as he spoke with the unctuousness of a villain administering
poison in a bouquet of roses. But a way to get rid of her love. He
didn't mind her, but the thing in her. That was the whole of it. Why
hide from it? God, if he could only kill it he'd be free. Otherwise he'd
never be free. Even if he went away there'd be the thought of her
love.... Anna's face bloomed with joy at his words.
"We'll come here another night when you're not tired, honey."
"Yes," he answered, "make a party of it. How about that, Mr. Meredith?"
"Surest thing."
They forgot Tesla.
"Oh, Erik!" She embraced his arm with both her hands. Under the table
she pressed her thigh trembling against him.
The music from the platform had changed. Cornets, banjos, saxophones,
again. The boom and jerk of voices arose as if in greeting. Foreheads
of diners glistening with a fine sweat. Sweat on the backs of women's
necks, on their chins, under their raised arms; gleaming on the cool
intervals of breasts, white and bulbous breasts peeping out of a secret
world.
"If I may, Anna...."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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