“My only consolation is that the play seems to be a good one and they
have given me a part--a darling part if I do it decently. I was to
have had only a maid’s part but Miss Cassell refused to go to the
Coast and there wasn’t time to recast the part.
“Even then I don’t think they’d have given it to me if Mr. Smull
hadn’t said that he’d like me to have it. I pray humbly that I may be
equal to it. Never has anything so excited me as this chance.
“But if only I could have known it, and spent every second talking
it over with you! I don’t mean that Mr. Donnell is not my hope and
salvation; but you are _you_, Mr. Annan, and there is no other man’s
mind that stimulates and enthralls mine as yours does.
“Please don’t forget me. Please write to me. I know it is a very
great deal to ask of such a man. But you _are_ kind, and you are
famous; and I am ignorant and a nobody. Whatever you say helps.
Just your voice, even your smile, acts on me like intellectual
tonics--that lazy, wise, kindly, perplexing smile, so mischievously
experienced, that encourages yet warns! I _wanted_ it so desperately.
I needed it--and you--just when I felt that my career was beginning.
Oh, Mr. Annan, please understand and please, please don’t forget me.
“Eris.”
In a postscript she gave her address in Los Angeles.
* * * * *
Much flattered and genuinely touched, he wrote her immediately.
The glamour lasted for the next few weeks. Complacency is a great
stimulation to memory. A bland satisfaction in the ardent mental
attitude of Eris toward himself incited him to real effort in his
letters. He became expansive--a trifle sentimental when he thought of
the girl’s beauty--but only airily so--and he rather settled down to a
Chesterfieldian attitude toward his unusual and odd little protégée.
Wisdom in wads he administered with a surprising solemnity foreign to
his accustomed attitude toward himself.
However, his flippancy _was_ an attitude as far as it concerned his
belief in himself. Because this young man really took himself very
devoutly.
He prescribed a course of reading for Eris. He formulated rules of
conduct, exposed pitfalls, impressed maxims in epigrams, discoursed on
creative and interpretive art. It was perversely clever. He used some
of the material in his novel.
This was all very well. The girl’s letters were charming and touching;
the correspondence was excellent practice for him, and part of it could
be salvaged for practical ends.
But there were in use at that time, among the semi-educated, two
cant-words which the public, now, was working to rags;--_psychology_
and _complex_.
And it was these words that suggested to Annan that his letters to Eris
might, more profitably to himself, become experiments in research and
vivisection.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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