He passed the day without much sign of change. Esther was repeatedly
called from his side to see persons whom she could not send away. Her
aunt was with her till night. Strong came in and sat with her while she
tried to dine. So long as day-light lasted she felt no sense of
loneliness or desertion, and her courage remained fairly steady; but
when she had sent home her aunt and cousin in order to begin her watch
earlier than the previous night, her fears returned, her heart sank, and
she begged Catherine to stay with her. The two girls began their watch
together. Mr. Dudley seemed pleased to have them with him.
Presently a nurse came with a message that Mr. Hazard was below, and had
asked to see Esther for a moment. Mr. Dudley overheard the message, and
whispered to his daughter:
"Tell him I am sorry not to see him! Say I am just going out!"
He spoke dreamily, as though half asleep, and Esther, as she leaned over
him, trying to catch his words, doubted whether he was quite conscious.
He muttered a few more words: "I won't interfere, but the church--." She
caught no more, and he dozed off again into silence. After watching him
a few moments, Esther beckoned to Catherine to take her chair, and
slipped out of the room. She wanted to see Hazard, for, strange as it
seemed to her, he had become her most intimate friend, and she could not
send him away at such a moment.
She found him at the foot of the stairs, and there they remained
standing for a few moments, talking in low tones, by the light of a dim
gas-burner.
"I want to help you," he said. "I am used to such scenes and you are
not. You need help though you may not ask for it."
She shook her head: "I am a miserable coward," she said; "but we are
beyond help now, and I must learn endurance."
"You will over-tax your strength," he urged. "Remember, there is no
excitement so great as to stand for the first time in face of eternity,
as you are doing."
"I suppose it must be so," she answered. "Every thing seems unreal. I
can't even realize my father's illness. Your voice sounds far-off, as
though you were calling to me out of the distance and darkness. I hardly
know what we are saying, or why we are here. I never felt so before."
"It is over-excitement and fatigue," he replied soothingly. "Do you
feel afraid, too?"
"Terribly!" she answered; "I want to run away. But I think death excites
almost more than it frightens. My father laughs at it even now."
"I am more concerned about you," continued Hazard. "I can do nothing for
him, and you may feel sure that for him all the worst is over. Will you
let me stay here on the chance of your needing help?"
"I have already sent away my aunt and George Strong," she said. "Do not
feel alarmed about me. Women have more strength than men."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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