In going to see a friend who is visiting a lady whom you do not know,
whether you should leave a card on the hostess as well as on your friend
depends upon the circumstances: if the hostess is one who is socially
prominent and you are unknown, it would be better taste not to leave a
card on her, since your card afterward found without explanation might be
interpreted as an uncalled-for visit made in an attempt for a place on her
list. If, on the other hand, she is the unknown person and you are the
prominent one, your card is polite, but unwise unless you mean to include
her name on your list. But if she is one with whom you have many interests
in common, then you may very properly leave a card for her.
In leaving a card on a lady stopping at a hotel or living in an apartment
house, you should write her name in pencil across the top of your card, to
insure its being given to her, and not to some one else.
At the house of a lady whom you know well and whom you are sorry not to
find at home, it is "friendly" to write "Sorry not to see you!" or "So
sorry to miss you!"
Turning down a corner of a visiting card is by many intended to convey
that the visit is meant for all the ladies in the family. Other people
mean merely to show that the card was left at the door in person and not
sent in an envelope. Other people turn them down from force of habit and
mean nothing whatever. But whichever the reason, more cards are bent or
dog-eared than are left flat.
=ENGRAVED CARDS ANNOUNCING ENGAGEMENT, BAD FORM=
Someone somewhere asked whether or not to answer an engraved card
announcing an engagement. The answer can have nothing to do with
etiquette, since an engraved announcement is unknown to good society. (For
the proper announcement of an engagement see page 304.)
=WHEN PEOPLE SEE THEIR FRIENDS=
Five o'clock is the informal hour when people are "at home" to friends.
The correct hour for leaving cards and paying formal visits is between
3.30 and 4.30. One should hesitate to pay a visit at the "tea hour" unless
one is sure of one's welcome among the "intimates" likely to be found
around the hostess's tea-table.
Many ladies make it their practise to be home if possible at five o'clock,
and their friends who know them well come in at that time. (For the
afternoon tea-table and its customs, see page 171.)
=INFORMAL VISITING OFTEN ARRANGED BY TELEPHONE=
For instance, instead of ringing her door-bell, Mrs. Norman calls Mrs.
Kindhart on the telephone: "I haven't seen you for weeks! Won't you come
in to tea, or to lunch--just you." Mrs. Kindhart answers, "Yes, I'd love
to. I can come this afternoon"; and five o'clock finds them together over
the tea-table.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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