SHIFT. I do more than profess, sir, and, if you please to be a practitioner, I will undertake in one fortnight to bring you, that you shall take it plausibly in any ordinary, theatre, or the Tilt-yard, if need be, in the most popular assembly that is. PUNT. But you cannot bring him to the whiffe so soon? SHIFT. Yes, as soon, sir; he shall receive the first, second, and third whiffe, if it please him, and, upon the receipt, take his horse, drink his three cups of canary, and expose one at Hounslow, a second at Stains, and a third at Bagshot. CAR. Baw-waw! SOG. You will not serve me, sir, will you? I'll give you more than countenance. SHIFT. Pardon me, sir, I do scorn to serve any man. CAR. Who! he serve? 'sblood, he keeps high men, and low men, he! he has a fair living at Fullam. SHIFT. But in the nature of a fellow, I'll be your follower, if you please. SOG. Sir, you shall stay, and dine with me, and if we can agree, we'll not part in haste: I am very bountiful to men of quality. Where shall we go, signior? PUNT. Your Mitre is your best house. SHIFT. I can make this dog take as many whiffes as I list, and he shall retain, or effume them, at my pleasure. PUNT. By your patience, follow me, fellows. SOG. Sir Puntarvolo! PUNT. Pardon me, my dog shall not eat in his company for a million. [EXIT WITH HIS SERVANTS. CAR. Nay, be not you amazed, signior Whiffe, whatever that stiff-necked gentleman says. SOG. No, for you do not know the humour of the dog, as we do: Where shall we dine, Carlo? I would fain go to one of these ordinaries, now I am a gentleman. CAR. So you may; were you never at any yet? SOG. No, faith; but they say there resorts your most choice gallants. CAR. True, and the fashion is, when any stranger comes in amongst 'em, they all stand up and stare at him, as he were some unknown beast, brought out of Africk; but that will be helped with a good adventurous face. You must be impudent enough, sit down, and use no respect: when anything's propounded above your capacity smile at it, make two or three faces, and 'tis excellent; they'll think you have travell'd; though you argue, a whole day, in silence thus, and discourse in nothing but laughter, 'twill pass. Only, now and then, give fire, discharge a good full oath, and offer a great wager; 'twill be admirable. SOG. I warrant you, I am resolute; come, good signior, there's a poor French crown for your ordinary. SHIFT. It comes well, for I had not so much as the least portcullis of coin before. MIT. I travail with another objection, signior, which I fear will be enforced against the author, ere I can be deliver'd of it. COR. What's that sir?