The vote was probably the finest collection of assorted sounds ever
heard outside of a ship-yard. Right in the middle of it, the door
burst open, and in rushed Minnie, the cook, with a dipper of water,
under the impression that her favorite fear of fire had at last come
to pass. Close behind her was the Quartermaster-General, sometimes
known as Mother, while almost at the same instant old John, the
gardener, ran up on the porch with an axe, shouting hopefully, "Hould
him! I'm comin'!" under the impression that there was a fight of sorts
well under way.
The voting stopped suddenly, and the Captain looked quite ashamed as
he explained. Mother pretended to be very indignant.
"Some day," she said, "you'll all be in terrible danger and you'll
shout and yell and scream and bellow for help but not one of us will
come, will we, John?"
"Divil a step," called back John, as he clumped disappointedly down
the steps, his unused axe over his shoulder.
The Quartermaster-General agreed to withdraw her threat only after the
Captain had pledged the honor of the Band that there should be no
further disgustful noises within the house. Thereafter there were
hurryings and skurryings and dashings to and fro, in preparation for
the great adventure. Honey put fresh rubbers on his trusty sling-shot,
with which he could frequently hit a barn-door at five paces. Trottie
oiled up the air-rifle, which he was only allowed to use in windowless
wildernesses. Henny-Penny kept up such a fusillade with his new
pop-gun, that the Captain threatened to send him forth unarmed on the
morrow if he heard but one more pop. Alice-Palace's practice, however,
was the most spectacular. She had a water-pistol which, when properly
charged, would propel a stream of water an unbelievable distance. From
the bathroom door she took a snap-shot at Henny-Penny, who was
approaching her confidingly. The charge took effect in the very centre
of a large pink ear, and it was a long time before Henny-Penny could
be convinced that he was not mortally wounded.
At last the Captain ordered bed and perfect silence within fifteen
minutes, under penalty of being shot at sunrise.
"Nobody couldn't shoot me at sunrise," boasted Corporal Alice-Palace,
as she started up the stairs, "cause I wouldn't get up."
The next morning at dawn, from the Captain's room sounded the clear
whistle of the cardinal grosbeak--the adventure-call of the Band.
Followed thumps, splashings, and the sounds of rapid dressing from the
third story where the Band bivouacked.
"If there be any here," announced the Captain after breakfast, "who
for the sake of their wives and families wish to draw back, now is the
time. Once on the way, it will be too late."
"I haven't got any wife," piped up Henny-Penny, "nor any family 'cept
this one, but I want to come."
Similar sentiments were expressed by the rest of the Band. The Captain
said that it made the blood run faster in his shriveled old veins to
have such gallant comrades.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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