Antony, in a moment of heart hunger for the South, had told George
Washington his name. George Washington kept the same place for him every
Sunday, and polished the stone china plates till they glistened,
displayed for Antony all his dazzling teeth, bowed himself double, his
napkin under his arm, and addressed Antony as "Kunnell"; and Antony over
his dessert laughed in his sleeve (he took great pains to keep his hands
out of sight). After luncheon he smoked and read the papers in the
lobby, lounged about, wrote a Sunday letter to his mother, and then
loitered about through old Albany. On Sunday afternoons when it was
fine, he would choose School Street and the Cathedral close, and now,
under the falling of the yellow leaves there was a beauty in the day's
end that thrilled him hour by hour. He made these pilgrimages to keep
himself from thinking, from dreaming, from suffering; to keep his hands
from pencil and design; to keep his artist soul from crying out aloud;
to keep his talent from demanding, like a starving thing, bread that he
had no means to give. Sometimes, however,--sometimes, when the stimulus
of an excellent dinner, and a restful morning, when the cheer of George
Washington's droll devotion had died, then the young man's step would
lag in the streets of Albany, and with his hands behind his back and his
bright head bowed, he would creep musing, half-seeing where he went.
Taking advantage of his lassitude, like peris whose wings had been
folded against Paradise, and whose forms had been leaning hard against
the gate, his ideals, his visions, would rush in upon him, and he would
nearly sink under the beating of their wings--under their voluptuous
appeal, under their imperious demand.
On these occasions Fairfax would go home oppressed, and content himself
with a glass of milk and light food at the restaurant, and dressed as he
was even to the hat on his head, he would sink by the table in his
little room and bury his face in his hands. Then he would count up his
money. Working from May until October, he had saved only fifty dollars.
After his calculations there was no magnitude in the sum to inspire him
to new plans or to tempt him to make a fresh venture for art. He often
thought, in looking back on those days, that it was nothing but his
pride and his obstinacy that kept him there. The memory of his winter's
creations, of his work in the studio, and his beasts with their powerful
bodies and their bronze beauty, came upon him always with such cruel
resentment and made him feel so impotent against the injustice of the
great, that if drink had tempted Fairfax he would have gone to the
nearest saloon and made a beast of himself.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account