“I did not do any smart things as a child. It remained for later years to bring out the latent genius and digestive strength which I now possess. I did not graduate first in my class. I did not rise to distinction in two weeks. I did not dazzle the civilized world with my sterling ability. I just plugged along from day to day, and when I had an afternoon to myself it did not occur to me that I might read Horace, or Cicero, or the dictionary. I fooled away those priceless moments carrying water to the elephant, so that I could acquire information at the circus. “My journalistic career has been short, but full of interest. Though only covering a space of three or four years, it has been rich in amusement and gory personal encounter. “The West is well known as the home of fearless and deadly journalism. It brings out all there is in a man and throws him upon his own resources. It also throws him down stairs if he is not constantly on his guard. “I am an attorney by profession and a newspaper man by force of circumstances. I am married and have been for five years. I do not regret this step. “I am six feet high, of commanding appearance, and would be selected in any audience as a man who would not rob an overland train while there was anyone looking. “I am in robust health, with the exception of a corn, which I inherited from the old stock of Nyes, who first invaded the free lunch counters of Skouhegan, Maine. “To any one who is curious to investigate my career while in the West, I would say that I cheerfully refer them to any vigilance committee of this section. “If I can throw any more light on this delicate topic, or should the public care for a fuller diagnosis, I am always at your service. BILL NYE. “LARAMIE CITY, Wyoming, January 27, 1882.” There is no doubt that during later years Bill Nye has been more extensively copied than any other humorist of the day. Among the hundreds of good things he has produced, I select a few of the most touching and pathetic: THE ENGLISH JOKE.