"I first saw the light of day in the slums of St. Louis, Mo. I never
knew, nor did any one ever tell me, who my father and mother were. All
I know about those days and up to my fourteenth year is that one or
another of the women of that neighborhood fed, clothed, and sheltered
me. I had no schooling; didn't know how to read or write till a few
years ago. I never heard much besides bad language, seldom saw anything
but drinking, gambling, and so forth; never saw the inside of a church
and seldom saw the outside, 'cause I wasn't out of my own neighborhood
very much. It was too much like a fish being out of water. Never heard
the name of God or Jesus Christ except when they were taken in vain,
and never troubled my head to find out who was God or who was Jesus
Christ.
"Before I was fifteen years old, I married a gambler. He was a
fine-looking fellow, considerably older than me, and sometimes had a
pile of money.
"Yes, he gave me what I asked for. Sometimes I spent quite a bit on
dress and treating my friends, 'cause there ain't a stingy bone in my
body. I've no use for stingy folk, have you?
"Tom wasn't a heavy drinker, but he used to 'hit the pipe.'"
"What is 'hit the pipe', Callie?" I inquired.
"Don't you know? Why, smoke opium. Also, he had the morphine habit, and
if anything, that's the worst one of the two, but, between you and me,
there's little or no choice. It wasn't long before I, too, commenced
taking morphine, and kept it up until two years ago. Look here!"
With that she stripped up the sleeves of her dress, and we were gazing
at arms which from the shoulder to wrist were one mass of tiny bluish
spots. I doubt if there was room to place a pin between them.
"Oh! Callie, what are they?"
"Shots--shots from the hypodermic needle that we used to inject the
morphine.
"Hurt? No, not much; besides, we get to be such slaves to it that we'd
gladly hurt our bodies for the sake of it. It's the most demoralizing,
hard-to-break habit on earth. But glory to God! I'm saved and
sanctified now, and I'll tell you how it came about.
"I suppose I'd been serving my fifteenth sentence, to say the least, in
Branch No. 3, and they'd put me down in the dungeon, as usual, as they
most always had to do for the first few drays, 'cause I wanted the drug
so bad (they give you some there, but it never was enough) that I used
to disturb everybody, and besides, was very troublesome. I'll never
forget the day when I tried to knock my brains out on the dark cement
floor, but couldn't; so I cried, 'O God! if there is a God, and some of
these missionary folk that come here say there is a God, and a Christ
what can save, _save me, save me, please save me_! I don't want to go
to hell! I've had hell enough! I don't want to go to hell!'
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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