First Love: A Novel. Vol. 3 of 3Loudon, Mrs. (Margracia)
General
First Love: A Novel. Vol. 3 of 3
Loudon, Mrs. (Margracia)
Fiction
The delay had been more on the part of Julia than of her companion; for
there was an extraordinary formality and coldness about his manner, he
appeared, as it were, to wait her commands. His eyes were cast down, he
was silent; not even a catch of the breath was audible, though more than
once a movement of the chest might have indicated, to a close observer,
that a rising sigh had been suppressed. “How unlike what Edmund used to
be!” thought Julia. He had told her, in answer to some one of the obvious
questions she had attempted during the dancing, that one of his names was
still Edmund.
“A strange time this he has chosen,” she thought, “to become cold and
unfriendly to his oldest friends.” Yet she tried to congratulate him on
the unexpected change in his fortunes, with much of real kindness, and an
effort, at least, at playfulness of manner; for, thought Julia, “I must
not pretend to understand this absurd grief about Lady Susan.”
“It is a species of mockery, Julia,” he said, “to congratulate me on
advantages which, however ardently desired at one period, can now but
aggravate the bitterness of disappointment.”
“Oh, Edmund,” said Julia, thrown off her guard by his look and voice
of wretchedness, “why will you be miserable? Did not the real regard
and friendship of all your early friends, long, long suffice for your
happiness, and why will you suffer the disappointment of one, now you
see, you—must see—never—well founded hope, to render valueless every
real good.” But suddenly recollecting that her kindness was no longer
generosity to the poor friendless Edmund, she checked herself, coloured,
and became silent. Fitz-Ullin seemed to struggle for some time for
composure, or for voice to reply.
“That one hope, Julia,” he at length articulated with peculiar bitterness
of tone, “however ill founded you assure me it has ever been——”
“I assure you!” exclaimed Julia, with some surprise.
“That one hope,” he continued, speaking with effort, and from his visibly
increasing agitation, without noticing the interruption, “that one hope,
was all that gave life value in my eyes.”
“Indeed!” said Julia, assuming in her turn an air of coldness; and, for
her, almost disdain.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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