Doctor Levillier and Julian bade each other good-bye on the doorstep.
The doctor hailed a hansom, but Julian preferred to walk. He wished to be
alone, to feel the cold touch of the air on his face. The dawn was indeed
just breaking, ever so wearily. A strong wind came up with it over the
housetops, and Victoria Street looked dreary in the faint, dusky, grey
light, which grew as slowly in the cloudy sky as hope in a long-starved
heart. Julian lived in Mayfair, and he now walked forward slowly towards
Grosvenor Place, making a deliberate detour for the sake of exercising
his limbs. He was glad to be out under the sky, glad to feel the breeze
on his face, and to be free from the horror of that little room in which
he had kept so appalling a vigil. The dull lines of the houses stretching
away through the foggy perspective were gracious to his eyes. His feet
welcomed the hard fibre of the pavement. They had learned in that night
almost to shudder at the softness of a thick carpet. And all his senses
began to come out of their bondage and to renew their normal sanity. Only
now did Julian realize how strenuous that bondage had been, a veritable
slavery of the soul. Such a slavery could surely only have been possible
within the four walls of a building. An artificial environment must be
necessary to such an artificial condition of feeling. For Julian now
gradually began to believe that Dr. Levillier was right, and that he had
somehow allowed himself to become unnaturally affected and strung up. He
could believe this in the air and in the dawn. For he escaped out of
prison as he walked, and heard the dirty sparrows begin to twitter as
they sank to the brown puddles in the roadway, or soared to the soot that
clung round the chimneys which they loved.
And yet he had been communing with death, had for the first time
completely realized the fact and the meaning of death. What a demon
of the world it was, sly, bitter, chuckling at its power, the one
thing, surely, that has perfect enjoyment of all the things in the
scheme of the earth. What a trick it had played on Julian and on
Valentine. What a trick! And as this idea struck into Julian's mind he
found himself on the pavement by the chemist's shop that is opposite to
the underground railway station of Victoria. His eyes fell on the hutch
of the boy-messengers, and he beheld through the glass shutter three
heads. He crossed the road and tapped on the glass. A young man pulled
it up.
"Want to send a message, sir?"
"No. I wish to speak to one of your boys, if the one I mean is here. Ah,
there he is."
Julian pointed to his little Hermes of the midnight, who was crouched
within, uneasily sleeping, his chin nestling wearily among the medals
which his exemplary conduct had won for him. The young man shook the
child by the shoulder.
"Hulloh, Bob!" he yelled. "Here's a gentleman wants to speak to yer."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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