Bildungsromans; Fathers and sons -- Fiction; First loves -- Fiction; Ireland -- Fiction
“Shall we go up higher?” I asked, and without answering me Katherine
began to climb the hill-side, and I followed her over dry, springy,
fragrant heather, and between huge mossy boulders that had lain
undisturbed for centuries. We stopped to look at a fly-catching plant,
that curious, unpleasant mixture of the animal and the vegetable.
Katherine had never seen one before, and she examined the outspread,
concave disc, with the skeletons, the grey husks of flies, adhering to
its green surface. We found a bee struggling on his back on the purple
flower of a thistle, waving his legs in the air, a ridiculous picture
of intoxication. But in spite of these interruptions the silence
that had crept over us lingered still. When we reached a place where
the ground rose steeply for a yard or two I gave Katherine my hand
to help her, and when we came to more level ground we still went on
hand in hand. And with this light contact there came to me a strange,
thrilling pleasure, intense yet dreamy, unlike anything I had ever
known before. I did not look at my companion. When I spoke, telling her
to avoid a patch of soft ground that had here spread across the path,
the sound of my own voice astonished me, so unfamiliar was it, even
trembling slightly; and I felt my limbs trembling. But why should it be
so? What was there? Why was I nervous? Nothing had happened but this
short easy climb hand in hand. I threw my hat from me and flung myself
down among the heather, lying with my hands clasped behind my head,
and my face turned up to the dark blue sky. Far, far below us, the
sea, blue and deep, broad, beautiful and free, lay shimmering in the
hot sun. I had a sensation of intense happiness, physical and mental,
into which I seemed to be sinking deep and deeper. I felt my eyes grow
moist, and I turned away my head that my companion might not see my
face.
Presently I looked round. Katherine was sitting beside me, gazing
straight out at the distant sea. The broad brim of her black hat
shadowed her face. The deep blue of her eyes seemed darker than before;
they had the blue now of the eyes Renoir so often painted, and that I
have seen nowhere else. I wanted to say something, I hardly knew what.
I hovered shyly on the verge of it, like a timid bather on the brink
of the sea, but there was no one to push me in, and my plunge was not
taken.
“It’s jolly nice here!” Those feeble words were all I could find to
express the rapid rush of emotion that had shaken my whole being.
The vast and complex forces of nature were stirring within me almost
as unconsciously as the new leaf germinates in the growing plant.
Yet there was something which, without any words at all, I must
have expressed, had there been an observer to see it. I mean the
helplessness of youth, its pathetic credulity and good faith, its
brightness and briefness in the face of those hoary old hills, and of
feelings that were almost as ancient.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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