"The Major began the gab-fest," said Waddles. "He started off chattering like a magpie and trying to rattle me, and naturally I went back at him with the same stuff. Fair for one as for the other, eh? I'll admit that he out-generalled me by giving me that putt on the second hole, but the thing that finally grabbed my angora was his infernal concentration. Never saw anything like it! Why, he actually asked me to stand behind him and criticise his swing--while he was shooting, mind you? Asked me to do it! And when I saw that he went along steady as the rock of Gibraltar--well, I blew, that's all. I went to pieces. The thing reacted on me. I'll bet that old rascal could listen to you all day long-and never top a ball!" "You'd lose that bet," said Jay quietly. "How do you mean--lose it?" demanded Waddles, bristling. "I talked my head off, and he didn't top any, did he?" "No; and he didn't listen any, either. As a matter of fact, you could have fired a cannon off right at his hip without making him miss a shot." "You don't mean to tell me----" said Waddles, gaping. Jay laughed unfeelingly. "You had a fat chance of talking the old Major out of anything!" said he. "He hasn't advertised it much, because he's rather sensitive about his affliction; but he's----" "Deaf!" gulped Waddles. "As a post," finished Jay. Waddles' jaw dropped. There was a long, painful silence. Then Waddles crooked his finger at the waiter. "Boy!" he called. "Bring me this dinner check!" A MIXED FOURSOME I When the returns were all in, a lot of people congratulated the winners of the mixed-foursome cups, after which the weak-minded ones sympathised with Mary Brooke and Russell Davidson. Sympathy is a wonderful thing, and so rare that it should not be wasted. Any intelligent person might have seen at a glance that Mary didn't need sympathy; and as for Russell Davidson, there never was a time when he deserved it. And in all this outpouring of sentiment, this hand-shaking and back-patting, nobody thought to offer a kind word to old Waddles. Nobody shook him by the hand and told him that he was six of the seven wonders of the world. It seems a pity, now that I look back on it. Possibly you remember Waddles. He was, is, and probably always will be, an extremely important member of the Yavapai Golf and Country Club. Important, did I say? That doesn't begin to express it. Omnipotent--that's better.