He was amazed at the beauty of Lena’s yellow hair, flung about the
pillow, amazed too by the athletic face, her open mouth suggestive of
pain. He opened his mouth and shut it again and wet his lips with his
tongue, blaming the war for her death. She had a lace handkerchief
clenched in her hand ... maybe Amélie had died that way ... maybe Lena
had been watching the rain trickle down her bedroom window. Her face
was harsh: shadows added to the harshness. Hand on her bedpost, Orville
wished he had slept with her: how could it have mattered?
Jeannette had come down the stairs as he descended. Hand sliding down
the railing, he saw Lena as a kid, no, the two of them, screaming down
the steps, to get outdoors, to play ball. He found Jean in the living
room: he did not wish to talk: he wanted to feel that Lena was still
alive: as he sat down and faced Jeannette she thought how it must be
coming home to death, death in his home, death after the deaths of war:
coming home was perplexing at best. Slipping her fingers into his, she
tugged at him as they sat together on the sofa.
Claude was standing nearby.
"She’s dead," Orville said to him.
Bichain heard Orville. The old man stiffened, and rubbed his beard: he
became unaware of Jean and Orville: with bowed head he walked off,
seeing the girl he had helped to raise, a woman of tantrums, woman of
courage, love and beauty. Mumbling a little, he went to his own room,
shut the door, and lay down, an arm flung across his eyes.
"Where’s Aunt Therèse?" Orville asked Jean.
"I don’t know," she said.
They continued to sit there saying nothing, one lamp lit, no fires
burning in the fireplaces, the room quite cold, the wind fumbling at the
French doors. Slowly, as they sat together, he became aware of his
stench: nobody wanted him: he had nothing for anyone: he clenched his
stained hands, eyes toward the floor: this was no way to be, sitting
beside her.
"They should have been able to save her," he said.
"They tried ... they tried."
"Who?"
"The doctors, several doctors were in and out. Yes, Orv, they tried."
"What were they, hacks?"
"Our best."
"Did they use antibiotics?"
"Yes ... injections ... they tried ... you saw the oxygen tank ... I
came over often ... I know what went on in that room."
Orville covered his face with his hand and hid from Jeannette.
Jean bit her lips: death on the battlefield, death at home: these things
were driving him farther and farther inside himself: they were taking
him farther away. Unable to think of anything more to say about Lena,
she thought of her own problems at the hospital, daily chores, the
endless rounds--patients who required special care.
"Get Bichain to start a fire in the fireplaces," he said after a while.
"I have to wash ... have to change ... must go now."
As he got up, he saw his aunt approaching him slowly, her heels tapping
the parquet and then soundless on the carpet.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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