"It’s nothing," he said, frowning, laying down his knife and fork. Have
I been staring at her in some crazy way? He forced himself to continue
eating; he had not eaten much but he was ready to leave the table.
Again he questioned love, how long did it last? A man’s love for a
woman, a woman’s for a man, a child’s love for his parents? Life was
not much at cherishing love: it had lost that gift if it ever had that
gift for any length of time. Now, for love to endure very long it had
to mount a machine gun.
A switch clicked in his brain: a small gate opened: a Sherman tank
roared through the opening: a farm was burning.
After dessert and coffee, they sat in the living room where Claude had
fires blazing, lamps and candles lit. Lena’s angora, curled on a floor
cushion, was fast asleep. Orville stroked him and he rolled over and
yawned and stretched: upstairs a door slammed. The mantel clock chimed
delicately: rain was making slow sounds.
Orville sat close to Jeannette on the sofa and the warmth of her body,
the warmth of her hands and the fires made him shut his eyes: nothing
was wrong; then she asked her disturbing question, that old question, as
though in great pain.
"Why do we have to die?"
She was remembering remembrances of London and Wisconsin, remembering
her father who had often said that death was not enough.
"... Hardly a question ... doesn’t it evolve out of the medieval ages,
Jean? I guess they were asking that during the Crusades. During the
Inquisition. Sir Walter must have asked it. Joan. Maybe Christ?
"An important question ... but for some of us there’s an answer: we die
to escape hell. I’ve been wanting to escape it. Our inquisition ...
can’t we call it that? ... it’s not something we cherish ... death is a
way out. You know that..."
"I shouldn’t have asked ... I know better ... sometimes it seems there
ought to be a way to live without tragedy ... I want to make life
worthwhile for you, Orv. Back home. Together. I want it to be like
that."
He smiled a smile of thanks and love.
"I still think about Rousseau because I was brought up thinking about
him. Ermenonville’s his shadow ... I grew up in that shadow. You want
to make life worthwhile for us ... he wanted to make life worthwhile for
the world. He was a brave guy--a fighter. You know ... he said
civilization is a disease. As the war hounds us, we see he was right.
He was a man of reveries ... I’ve wanted to be a man of reveries."
It seemed to Orville that Rousseau’s philosophy was symbolized by the
white tomb on the island of poplars, by the swans on the Petit Lac. Men
paid their respect by pausing there, confronting the empty tomb.
Jean snuggled closer to Orv.
"Rousseau says we’re slaves to our laws and thinks we can free ourselves
by respecting nature, making life simpler. Mom and I thought that too;
that’s why we moved to the States ... we thought we wouldn’t have to
kowtow to state or church or..."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account