"As _I_ am!" and he laughed sadly. "Do _you_ know what I am? Who knows
it not? A day labourer am I, cutting shells for women, with a woman's
patience, whose stout arms are ashamed of him when they encounter a
piece of marble. Well, perhaps, yesterday the matter was arranged so
that the poor cripples will have nothing to reproach themselves for in
future!"
"You talk strangely--as if there were not room enough within a circle
of two inches for a soul that can at times express itself in two
words."
"For the idea, possibly, but hardly for the execution."
"You must have experienced that," said Theodore. "But are you _obliged_
to do what is so disagreeable to you?"
The sick man cast a quiet look around the four bare walls, and said--
"I have got so used to the amount of luxury you see about you; I did,
indeed, once think of beginning a large work without there in the
square, eating my artichoke by the fountain at noon, and sleeping at
night at the foot of my work. But one is effeminate and fears the
weather, and cowardly, and afraid of the gossipping. Besides, I cannot
do without the wine or--"
"But if you had an opportunity of working in marble without any
discomfort to yourself," interrupted Theodore.
The sick man started up excitedly.
"Do you know what you are doing with your thoughtless questions?" he
cried, and his eyes sparkled. "Look in that corner; there have I cast
one on the top of the other, all that used to come to me with such
questions. The dust is burying these impertinent babblers day by day,
and my eyes know already that it is an unpardonable sin for them to
wander towards them. And yet I was fool enough to allow myself to hope
again when they said that models were to be sent in for the monument to
the last Pope. For a couple of weeks I thought and dreamt of nothing
else, and worked it out with energy, and was myself satisfied with my
work. Fool that I was, to be deluded by such fancies. That was
yesterday. I wrapped the model in a cloth, and bore it myself all the
way to the Cardinal Secretary of State,--for my soul hung upon it, and
I thought another might let it fall. And then I was obliged to give the
rascally servants civil words and my last scudo before they would even
permit me to enter. Inside it was all black and red and violet, with
their reverences' stockings, and they stared at me from head to foot,
because I had run out of my studio without thinking of taking off my
old working-jacket. I thought, 'Let them stare;' took courage, and
stepped with a bow and my work before his eminence. I saw at once that
he was in a bad temper, and that his neighbour had already tasted some
of its effects. I told him shortly why I was there, and begged to be
permitted to show my sketch. The old fellow nodded, after his custom,
cast a glance over the figures, which looked doubly noble amongst all
those rogues, and said, 'Not bad. But 'twont do, 'twont do; wants
noblesse, my son, and more direct reference to the holy church. Take it
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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