Friends in Council — First SeriesHelps, Arthur, Sir
Philosophy
Friends in Council — First Series
Helps, Arthur, Sir
Conduct of life
To take an example. A sensitive disposition may descend to a child; but
it is also very commonly increased, and often created. Captiousness,
sensitiveness, and a Martha-like care for the things of this world, are
often the direct fruits of education. All these faults of the character,
and they are amongst the greatest, may be summed up in a disproportionate
care for little things. This is rather a growing evil. The painful
neatness and exactness of modern life foster it. Long peace favours it.
Trifles become more important, great evils being kept away. And so, the
tide of small wishes and requirements gains upon us fully as fast as we
can get out of its way by our improved means of satisfying them. Now the
unwholesome concern that many parents and governors manifest as to small
things must have a great influence on the governed. You hear a child
reprimanded about a point of dress, or some trivial thing, as if it had
committed a treachery. The criticisms, too, which it hears upon others
are often of the same kind. Small omissions, small commissions, false
shame, little stumbling-blocks of offence, trifling grievances of the
kind that Dr. Johnson, who had known hunger, stormed at Mrs. Thrale for
talking about, are made much of; general dissatisfaction is expressed
that things are not complete, and that everything in life is not turned
out as neat as a Long-Acre carriage; commands are expected to be
fulfilled by agents, upon very rapid and incomplete orders, exactly to
the mind of the person ordering;—these ways, to which children are very
attentive, teach them in their turn to be querulous, sensitive, and full
of small cares and wishes. And when you have made a child like this, can
you make a world for him that will satisfy him? Tax your civilisation to
the uttermost: a punctilious, tiresome disposition expects more. Indeed,
Nature, with her vague and flowing ways, cannot at all fit in with a
right-angled person. Besides, there are other precise, angular
creatures, and these sharp-edged persons wound each other terribly. Of
all the things which you can teach people, after teaching them to trust
in God, the most important is, to put out of their hearts any expectation
of perfection, according to their notions, in this world. This
expectation is at the bottom of a great deal of the worldliness we hear
so much reprehended, and necessarily gives to little things a most
irrational importance.
Observe the effect of this disproportionate care for little things in the
disputes of men. A man who does so care, has a garment embroidered with
hooks which catch at everything that passes by. He finds many more
causes of offence than other men; and each offence is a more bitter thing
to him than to others. He does not expect to be offended. Poor man! He
goes through life wondering that he is the subject of general attack, and
that the world is so quarrelsome.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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