Frivolities, Especially Addressed to Those Who Are Tired of Being SeriousMarsh, Richard
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Frivolities, Especially Addressed to Those Who Are Tired of Being Serious
Marsh, Richard
Fiction; Humorous stories, English; Short stories, English
"I do not think that I was ever so much annoyed in my life. After all
the pains I had taken to conceal the fact that we were honeymooning,
and then for him to blurt it out like that! The other passengers
simply roared.
"'This is a nice way of beginning one's honeymoon. I shall have to
return to town at once.'
"Of course they laughed again. I was really too annoyed to speak. I
sat and tried to look as though I liked it. When he had finished
laughing the man who sat next to him stooped and picked up something
from the floor of the carriage.
"'Anybody lost a pocket-book?' he asked.
"Of course it was Conrad's.
"'I--I expect I dropped it,' he explained. Then he turned to me. 'I am
afraid we shall have to return to town at once.'
"'Don't be silly. We shall do nothing of the kind. I suppose there is
a telegraph office at Harwich.'
"Before he had time to answer the train began to slow. I took the
management of affairs into my own hands.
"'If you will go and send your telegram I will go on board. But pray
don't be long.'
"But he was long. It appears, from what I have since learnt, that the
London train was behind its time, and it was a question of missing the
tide in the Scheldt. Anyhow, there was a great deal of hurry and
scurry, and, as I was wondering what had become of Conrad, someone
shouted, 'All on board!' In my agitation I lost my presence of mind.
And at that moment I saw Conrad running along the quay in the
direction of the boat for Rotterdam. I suppose that, owing to his
shortsightedness, and his haste, and the darkness, he mistook one boat
for the other. I was tongue-tied in my bewilderment. Before I
recovered myself we were moving down the river, and the quay was out
of sight. You may imagine my sensations, without tickets, almost
without money, a bride without a bridegroom! I asked for the captain.
I was told that he was navigating the ship, but I could see him later
on. I saw him later on. He came when we had reached the open sea. As
he advanced I thought I knew his figure. I felt as though my legs were
giving way beneath me--it was Mr. Pearson! The recognition was mutual.
"'Jennie!' he cried. 'Miss Nash!' He looked as though he were
dumbfounded. 'This is an unexpected pleasure!'
"'I--I wish to see the captain.'
"'I am the captain. You wish to see me? Come this way!'
"He led the way into his cabin. I followed, speechless. Events were
crowding on me, for which I was wholly unprepared.
"'Mrs. Nash is with you?'
"'No, not--my mother. I--I am with my husband.'
"'Your husband!' He gave a start of surprise. 'Oh, indeed, your
husband.'
"You know what a big man he is, and his huge beard? I declare that, as
he stood and glared at me, I felt positively frightened.
"'That is to say, he was with me, but he has been left behind.'
"'Left behind? Might I ask you to explain?'
"'He went to send a telegram and he mistook the boat, and I'm afraid
he's gone to Rotterdam.'
"'To Rotterdam? And you are bound for Antwerp? Ha, ha, ha!'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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