Frivolities, Especially Addressed to Those Who Are Tired of Being SeriousMarsh, Richard
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Frivolities, Especially Addressed to Those Who Are Tired of Being Serious
Marsh, Richard
Fiction; Humorous stories, English; Short stories, English
"One, in particular, was resplendent. On him my eyes fell. And as they
did so--dear mamma, I did not disgrace you by positively fainting, but
a cold chill went down my back and penetrated to the marrow of my
bones. It was the Baron! Hector d'Ardigny! At his side stood Mr.
Pearson. Even at that trying moment I was struck by the ludicrous
contrast the one presented to the other--the Baron four feet six, Mr.
Pearson six feet four. Geraldine will remember how it used to tickle
me in days gone by. It tickled me then.
"As I was becoming conscious that I was the centre of attraction Mr.
Pearson motioned towards me with his hand.
"'This is Mrs. Godwin.'
"I do not think that the Baron had hitherto noticed me. He noticed me
then! It strikes me that up to that moment he had been engaged in
glancing at Mr. Pearson. To say that at sight of me the colour of his
countenance was that of a boiled beetroot is to use a trite and coarse
comparison. But I do not know to what else I could compare it, unless
it be to a lobster newly boiled.
"'Jennie!' he gasped. 'Miss Nash!'
"'This,' repeated Mr. Pearson, 'is Mrs. Godwin.'
"The Baron glared at Mr. Pearson. Then he glared at me. Then he
_sprang_ at Mr. Pearson.
"'Villain!' he cried. 'This is a trick you play on me!'
"Before the eyes of all the passengers he slapped the captain's face.
Of course, it would have been quite easy for Mr. Pearson to have
picked him up and dropped him into the water. I fancy public
expectation took it for granted that the Baron would be summarily
disposed of in some such fashion. If so, public expectation was wrong.
Mr. Pearson did nothing of the kind. He stood quite still. He looked
at the Baron. He took out his handkerchief and wiped his cheek. Then
he looked at his handkerchief. Then he turned to me.
"'Be so good as to come this way.'
"Docile as a child I went that way. Mr. Pearson came after me,
leading, unless I am mistaken, the Baron by his epaulette. We all
three entered the captain's cabin--that apartment in which I had
already spent such an agreeable twenty minutes. Mr. Pearson addressed
the Baron in language which was eminently adapted to tickle the ears
of a lady.
"'I've half a mind, you little brute, to choke the life right out of
you. But I'll give you another chance for your skin. The fun's too
good to lose. You said you wanted someone of the name of Godwin, and
here is someone.'
"The Baron took off his _képi_. He wiped his brow. The dear little man
was damp with perspiration.
"'It is someone of the name of Conrad Godwin that I want.'
"'I am Mrs. Conrad Godwin,' I observed.
"I supposed that, in some mysterious way, he had become possessed of a
message either for Conrad or for me. I was not prepared for his
behaviour. He dropped into a seat with an exclamation which sounded
very like an execration.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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