"Thar's a good deal said lately in the papers," began Gabriel,
cautiously, "in regard to breach o' promise trials. Lookin' at it, by
and large, thar don't seem to be much show for a fellow ez hez been in
enny ways kind to a gal, is thar?"
The person addressed, whom rumour declared to have sought One Horse
Gulch as a place of refuge from his wife, remarked with an oath that
women were blank fools anyway, and that on general principles they were
not to be trusted.
"But thar must be a kind o' gin'ral law on the subject," urged Gabriel.
"Now what would be your opinion if you was on a jury onto a case like
this? It happened to a friend o' mine in Frisco," said Gabriel, with a
marked parenthesis, "a man ez you don't know. Thar was a woman--we'll
say a widder--ez had been kinder hangin' round him off and on for two
or three year, and he hadn't allowed anything to her about marryin'. One
day he goes down thar to her house, kinder easy-like, jest to pass the
time o' day, and be sociable"----
"That's bad," interrupted the cynic.
"Yes," said Gabriel, doubtingly, "p'r'aps it does look bad, but you see
he didn't mean anythin'."
"Well?" said the adviser.
"Well! thet's all," said Gabriel.
"All!" exclaimed his companion, indignantly.
"Yes, all. Now this woman kinder allows she'll bring a suit agin him to
make him marry her."
"My opinion is," said the adviser, bluntly, "my opinion is, that the man
was a fool, and didn't tell ye the truth nuther, and I'd give damages
agin him, for being such a fool."
This opinion was so crushing to Gabriel that he turned hopelessly away.
Nevertheless, in his present state of mind, he could not refrain from
pushing his inquiries further, and in a general conversation which took
place at Briggs's store, in the afternoon, among a group of smokers,
Gabriel artfully introduced the subject of courtship and marriage.
"Thar's different ways of getting at the feelin's of a woman," said the
oracular Johnson, after a graphic statement of his own method of
ensnaring the affections of a former sweetheart, "thar's different ways
jest as thar's different men and women in the world. One man's way won't
do with some wimmen. But thar's one way ez is pretty sure to fetch 'em
allers. That is, to play off indifferent--to never let on ye like 'em!
To kinder look arter them in a gin'ral sort o' way, pretty much as Gabe
thar looks arter the sick!--but not to say anythin' particler. To make
them understand that they've got to do all the courtin', ef thar's enny
to be done. What's the matter, Gabe, ye ain't goin'?"
Gabriel, who had risen in great uneasiness, muttered something about
"its being time to go home," and then sat down again, looking at Johnson
in fearful fascination.
"That kind o' thing is pretty sure to fetch almost enny woman,"
continued Johnson, "and a man ez does it orter be looked arter. It orter
be put down by law. It's tamperin', don't yer see, with the holiest
affections. Sich a man orter be spotted wharever found."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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