Gargantua and Pantagruel, Illustrated, Book 5Rabelais, François
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Gargantua and Pantagruel, Illustrated, Book 5
Rabelais, François
Fantasy fiction, French -- Translations into English; Gargantua (Legendary character) -- Fiction; Giants -- Fiction
The master of the house, you must know, had been a good fellow in his time,
loved heartily to wind up his bottom, to bang the pitcher, and lick his
dish. He used to be a very fair swallower of gravy soup, a notable
accountant in matter of hours, and his whole life was one continual dinner,
like mine host at Rouillac (in Perigord). But now, having farted out much
fat for ten years together, according to the custom of the country, he was
drawing towards his bursting hour; for neither the inner thin kell
wherewith the entrails are covered, nor his skin that had been jagged and
mangled so many years, were able to hold and enclose his guts any longer,
or hinder them from forcing their way out. Pray, quoth Panurge, is there
no remedy, no help for the poor man, good people? Why don't you swaddle
him round with good tight girths, or secure his natural tub with a strong
sorb-apple-tree hoop? Nay, why don't you iron-bind him, if needs be? This
would keep the man from flying out and bursting. The word was not yet out
of his mouth when we heard something give a loud report, as if a huge
sturdy oak had been split in two. Then some of the neighbours told us that
the bursting was over, and that the clap or crack which we heard was the
last fart, and so there was an end of mine host.
This made me call to mind a saying of the venerable abbot of Castilliers,
the very same who never cared to hump his chambermaids but when he was in
pontificalibus. That pious person, being much dunned, teased, and
importuned by his relations to resign his abbey in his old age, said and
professed that he would not strip till he was ready to go to bed, and that
the last fart which his reverend paternity was to utter should be the fart
of an abbot.
Chapter 5.XVIII.
How our ships were stranded, and we were relieved by some people that were
subject to Queen Whims (qui tenoient de la Quinte).
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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