He would have to take care and not argue. He would sit down. Doris was
upstairs and she would appear in a minute. Then they would go for a walk
and shake this room out of their eyes.
They chattered like monkeys. Satisfied with themselves. Yes,
know-it-alls, tickled to death with themselves. An old man with a heavy
pink face and sleepy eyes, a well dressed old man they called Judge--if
he could punch this guy in the face, let his fist smash into his
jellyface, God! what a thrill! A flushed girl, Doris' sister, wiggling
her body in a chair. What she needed was somebody to grab hold of her
and say, "Come on kid." A square, hard-faced old woman talking of
society. What she needed was someone to walk up behind her and kick her
hard. And when she raised her glasses to look, laugh like Hell and spit
in her eye. That would make her human! And this smart-aleck Basine....
Hm! What he needed was somebody to tie him to a stake in a dark prairie
and let the wind and rain go over him till he got hungry and began to
whine. That's what they all needed--wind and rain to bring them back to
life.
But he must be careful and say nothing. There was Doris' mother. She
wasn't so bad. But this other guy, this writing guy, talking about
books! God! Why didn't somebody choke the life out of him! What did he
know about books? And he talked about writing! What was good writing? He
asked that, this guy did! He would have to be careful what he said to
this guy and keep himself from jumping up and murdering him. Hell take
all of them and make 'em burn. That's what they needed. He hated all of
them. They were rich. Damn 'em! He must sit and grin at them, these
jellyfish who wiggled in their graves and called their wiggles by great
names, who were dead ... dead.... How dead they were! And happy about
it! Happy.... Didn't they know how dead they were?
Doris was like them. He was a fool for coming to see her. As if she were
any different from them. She belonged with this filthy crew. She was a
filthy little tart like the rest of them. Let her go to Hell. He'd tell
her to go to Hell when he saw her. She was one he could talk to.
Uh huh, they were giving him the up and down. His shoes were dirty. His
collar soiled. His clothes weren't pressed. That was the way with these
dead ones, they made standards of their clothes because clothes were all
they had. And their idea was to make people feel inferior who were
inferior to their clothes or to their manners or to their other
artificialities. But he didn't have to feel inferior if he didn't want
to. He was the kind who could stand up in a graveyard like this and say
"Go to Hell" to the pack of them and grin and walk away and forget all
about it.
He noticed they looked at him not quite as they looked at each other.
That was right. They knew he had their number. Mrs. Basine, too, was
looking. She asked:
"I understand you write, Mr. Lindstrum?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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