"Gentlemen prefer blondes" : $b The illuminating diary of a professional ladyLoos, Anita
General
"Gentlemen prefer blondes" : $b The illuminating diary of a professional lady
Loos, Anita
Diary fiction; Humorous stories; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Millionaires -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
So I thought I would sit at his table. So then I had to ask him about
all of the money because all of the money they use in the Central of
Europe has not even got so much sense to it as the kind of franks they
use in Paris. Because it seems to be called kronens and it seems to
take quite a lot of them because it takes 50,000 of them to even buy a
small size package of cigarettes and Dorothy says if the cigarettes had
tobacco in them, we couldn’t lift enough kronens over a counter to pay
for a package. So this morning Dorothy and I asked the porter to bring
us a bottle of champagne and we really did not know what to give him
for a tip. So Dorothy said for me to take one of the things called a
one million kronens and she would take one of them called a one million
kronens and I would give him mine first and if he gave me quite a dirty
look, she would give him hers. So after we paid for the bottle of
champagne I gave him my one million kronens and before we could do
anything else he started in to grabbing my hand and kissing my hand and
getting down on his knees. So we finally had to push him right out of
the compartment. So one million kronens seemed to be enough. So I told
Mr. Spoffard how we did not know what to give the porter when he
brought us our bottle of minral water. So then I asked him to tell me
all about all of the money because I told him I always seem to think
that a penny earned was a penny saved. So it really was quite unusual
because Mr. Spoffard said that that was his favorite motto.
So then we got to talking quite a lot and I told him that I was
traveling to get educated and I told him I had a girl with me who I was
trying to reform because I thought if she would put her mind more on
getting educated, she would get more reformed. Because after all Mr.
Spoffard will have to meet Dorothy sooner or later and he might wonder
what a refined girl like I was doing with a girl like Dorothy. So Mr.
Spoffard really became quite intreeged. Because Mr. Spoffard loves to
reform people and he loves to senshure everything and he really came
over to Europe to look at all the things that Americans come over to
Europe to look at, when they really should not look at them but they
should look at all of the museums instead. Because if that is all we
Americans come to Europe to look at, we should stay home and look at
America first. So Mr. Spoffard spends all of his time looking at things
that spoil peoples morals. So Mr. Spoffard really must have very very
strong morals or else all the things that spoil other peoples morals
would spoil his morals. But they do not seem to spoil Mr. Spoffards
morals and I really think it is wonderful to have such strong morals.
So I told Mr. Spoffard that I thought that civilization is not what it
ought to be and we really ought to have something else to take its
place.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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