"Gentlemen prefer blondes" : $b The illuminating diary of a professional ladyLoos, Anita
General
"Gentlemen prefer blondes" : $b The illuminating diary of a professional lady
Loos, Anita
Diary fiction; Humorous stories; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Millionaires -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
So then I and Mr. Spoffard held a conversation all about morals and Mr.
Spoffard says he really thinks the future of everything is between the
hands of Mr. Blank the district attorney who is the famous district
attorney who is closing up all the places in New York where they sell
all of the liquor. So Mr. Spoffard said that a few months ago, when Mr.
Blank decided he would try to get the job to be the district attorney,
he put 1,000 dollars worth of liquor down his sink. So now Mr. Blank
says that everybody else has got to put it down their sink. So Dorothy
spoke up, and Dorothy said, “If he poured 1,000 dollars worth down his
sink to get himself one million dollars worth of publicity and a good
job—when we pour it down our sink, what do we get?” But Mr. Spoffard is
to brainy a gentleman to answer any such a foolish question. So he gave
Dorothy a look that was full of dignity and he said he would have to go
back to his Mother. So I was really quite angry at Dorothy. So I
followed Mr. Spoffard down the hall of the railway train and I asked
Mr. Spoffard if he thought I was wasting quite a lot of time reforming
a girl like Dorothy. So Mr. Spoffard thinks I am, because he really
thinks a girl like Dorothy will never have any reverance. So I told Mr.
Spoffard I had wasted so much time on Dorothy it would really break my
heart to be a failure. So then I had tears in my eyes. So Mr. Spoffard
is really very very sympathetic because when he saw that I did not have
any handkerchief, he took his own handkerchief and he dried up all of
my tears. So then he said he would help me with Dorothy quite a lot and
get her mind to running on things that are more educational.
So then he said he thought that we ought to get off the train at a
place called Munich because it was very full of art, which they call
“kunst” in Munich, which is very, very educational. So he said he and
Dorothy and I would get off of the train in Munich because he could
send his mother right on to Vienna with Miss Chapman, because every
place always seems to look alike to his mother anyway. So we are all
going to get off the train at Munich and I can send Mr. Eisman a
telegram when nobody is looking. Because I really do not think I will
tell Mr. Spoffard about Mr. Eisman, because, after all, their religions
are different and when two gentlemen have such different religions they
do not seem to have so much to get congeneal about. So I can telegraph
Mr. Eisman that Dorothy and I thought we would get off the train at
Munich to look at all of the art.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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