I have tendered my resignation to the court. I hope it will be
accepted, and you will forgive me for not having previously consulted
you. It is necessary I should leave this place. I know you all will
urge me to stay, and therefore--I beg you will soften this news to my
mother. I am unable to do anything for myself: how, then, should I be
competent to assist others? It will afflict her that I should have
interrupted that career which would have made me first privy
councillor, and then minister, and that I should look behind me, in
place of advancing. Argue as you will, combine all the reasons which
should have induced me to remain,--I am going: that is sufficient. But,
that you may not be ignorant of my destination, I may mention that the
Prince of ---- is here. He is much pleased with my company; and, having
heard of my intention to resign, he has invited me to his country
house, to pass the spring months with him. I shall be left completely
my own master; and as we agree on all subjects but one, I shall try my
fortune, and accompany him.
April 19.
Thanks for both your letters. I delayed my reply, and withheld this
letter, till I should obtain an answer from the court. I feared my
mother might apply to the minister to defeat my purpose. But my request
is granted, my resignation is accepted. I shall not recount with what
reluctance it was accorded, nor relate what the minister has written:
you would only renew your lamentations. The Crown Prince has sent me a
present of five and twenty ducats; and, indeed, such goodness has
affected me to tears. For this reason I shall not require from my
mother the money for which I lately applied.
May 5.
I leave this place to-morrow; and as my native place is only six miles
from the high-road, I intend to visit it once more, and recall the
happy dreams of my childhood. I shall enter at the same gate through
which I came with my mother, when, after my father's death, she left
that delightful retreat to immure herself in your melancholy town.
Adieu, my dear friend: you shall hear of my future career.
May 9.
I have paid my visit to my native place with all the devotion of a
pilgrim, and have experienced many unexpected emotions. Near the great
elm-tree, which is a quarter of a league from the village, I got out of
the carriage, and sent it on before, that alone and on foot I might
enjoy vividly and heartily all the pleasure of my recollections. I
stood there under that same elm which was formerly the term and object
of my walks. How things have since changed! Then, in happy ignorance, I
sighed for a world I did not know, where I hoped to find every pleasure
and enjoyment which my heart could desire; and now, on my return from
that wide world, O my friend, how many disappointed hopes and
unsuccessful plans have I brought back!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account