“Both,” replied the soldier, according to what he had been taught. “Well,” said the astonished King, “this is the first time I have ever been called a madman by one of my guards. What do you mean by it, sir?” The poor fellow seeing that the King was angry, told him, in French, that he did not understand a word of German. “Oh! is that so?” said the monarch. “Well, learn it as soon as possible, and I have no doubt that you will make a very good soldier.” In His Majesty’s Service Some time after having sustained a severe defeat at Kolin, Frederick the Great, at a review, jokingly asked a soldier, who had a deep cut in his cheek: “Friend, at what ale-house did you get that scratch?” “I got it,” said the soldier, “at Kolin, where your Majesty paid the reckoning.” The King Would Run Too Just before the battle of Rosbach (1757), things looked bad for the King. Frederick the Great was lying asleep on a heap of straw near a camp-fire, when he was awakened by one of his grenadiers calling: “Frederick!” (The grenadiers of his guard were allowed to call him that.) “Look, they are bringing in one of your grenadiers who has deserted!” “Why did you run away and leave your King?” was Frederick’s question. “Well, things were going so badly with you, that I wanted to try my luck elsewhere.” “You are right,” concluded the King; “but just try one more campaign, and if things don’t look any better for me after that, I’ll promise you, I will run away with you!” Would Declare War If Frederick the Great heard that any one had spoken ill of him, he simply asked: “Does the fellow own a hundred thousand men?” “No.” “Well, then, I can’t do anything to him; but if he commanded a hundred thousand soldiers I would declare war on him.” The Snuff Box of Frederick the Great One time Frederick the Great presented to Count von Schwerin, his equerry, a snuff-box with a monkey on the lid. The Count had the monkey taken out and the king’s picture put in the place. In the evening, looking as pleased as possible, he paraded it before the king’s eyes. “You seem to like it,” said the king, with an ironic smile. “Everything that comes from your Majesty’s hands is precious to me,” Schwerin assured him, “and I value this box the more, as it shows the picture of one whom I honor with all my heart—your Majesty’s picture!” Astounded at this impudence, Frederick looked at the box, and, noticing the change, laughed at the old diplomat and said: “The idea is fine and does you honor, but the picture is not good; here is a better one!” and handed him his own richly-jeweled snuff-box. The Bishop’s Cloak One of the characteristics of Frederick the Great was that he loved a tilt with the clergy. So he said to the Bishop of Ermenland: “I hope to slip into paradise under your cloak.” “Hardly,” returned the Bishop, whose income had been reduced to one-third, “your Majesty has cut down my cloak too much.” Deserved His Rest