Graham's Magazine, Vol. XX, No. 2, February 1842Various
General
Graham's Magazine, Vol. XX, No. 2, February 1842
Various
Literature -- Periodicals; Literature, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals
“‘You are a severe judge, Mr. Heyward,’ said I, with a faint attempt at
a smile; and just at that moment we were interrupted by some jesting
remarks from the party who preceded us. No opportunity was afforded for
renewing our conversation; but as we approached home, Louis lingered so
as to secure a moment’s time, and said in a low voice:
“‘I will not ask you to forgive my frankness, Miss Marchmont, for
something tells me that the time will come when you will not resent my
apparent rudeness. I owe to you some of the happiest, and, it may be,
some of the saddest moments of my life. Before we part, I would fain
awaken you to a sense of your own true value, for amid all the
frivolities which now waste your life, I have discovered that _you were
born for better things_.’ As he uttered these words, we found ourselves
at my father’s door, and with a cold bow he turned away.
“That night I was engaged to attend a brilliant ball, but my spirits
were depressed, and my brow clouded by unwonted sadness. Whether
wheeling in the giddy dance, or gliding with light words and lighter
laugh amid the groups of pleasure-seeking guests, still the deep voice
of Louis Heyward rung in my ears; and the words ‘_you were born for
better things_,’ seemed written upon everything that I beheld.
“‘You are _triste_ to-night, _ma belle_,’ said Frank Harcourt, as he
placed me in the carriage to return home: ‘I shall be quite jealous of
my crooked cousin, if a _tête-à-tête_ with him has such power to dim
your radiance.’
“Many a truth is uttered in the language of mockery. That walk with
Louis had become an era in my life. How I longed to weep in solitude!
The weariness and satiety which had long unconsciously possessed
me,—the unsatisfied cravings for excitement, which had long been my
torment, now seemed to me fully explained. Louis Heyward had unfolded to
me the truth,—he had revealed the secret of my hidden discontent, when
he told me _I was born for better things_. I had ‘_placed my happiness
lower than myself_,’ and therefore did I gather only disappointment and
vexation. Why did I not utter these thoughts to my affianced lover? Why
did I not weep upon his bosom and seek his tender sympathy? Because I
instinctively knew that he would not understand me. The charm which
enrobed my idol was already unwinding, and I had learned that there were
many subjects on which there could exist no congenial sentiments. For
the first time in my life, I began to reflect; and, with reflection,
came remorse for wasted time and ill-regulated feelings. Like the
peasant girl in the fairy tale, mine eyes had been touched with the
ointment of disenchantment, the illusion which had made life seem a
scene of perfect beauty and happiness was dispelled forever, and I now
only beheld a field where thorns grew beneath every flower, and a path
where duties were strewn far more thickly than pleasures.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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