Harper's New Monthly Magazine, No. XI.—April, 1851—Vol. II.Various
General
Harper's New Monthly Magazine, No. XI.—April, 1851—Vol. II.
Various
American literature -- Periodicals; Civilization -- Periodicals; Culture -- Periodicals
"A delusion that has occupied her thoughts ever since. It took such
complete possession of her, that all arguments were useless. When she
was asked if she believed it to be real, her invariable answer was that
it was real to her. I suffered her to indulge this fancy, hoping that
one day or another she would recover from what I regarded as a trance of
the mind; but I was mistaken. She always said she was sure of your
existence; and looked forward to the realization of her destiny, like
one who lived under an enchantment. By slow degrees I relinquished all
hopes, and resolved to sacrifice my own happiness to hers, if the
opportunity should ever arrive. After this she came to London, broken
down in health, and rapidly wasting away under the influence of the
protracted expectation that was destroying her. Then it was I first met
you. I had some misgiving about you from the beginning, and prevailed
upon her to describe to me again and again the person of my spectral
rival. It was impossible to mistake the portrait. My doubts were cleared
up, and the duty I had to perform was obvious. But I determined to make
further inquiry before I revealed to either what I knew of both, and
having heard you speak of your birth-place and residence, I went into
the country, satisfied myself on all points respecting you, and at the
same time learned the whole particulars of your life. Still I delayed
from day to day my intention of bringing you together, knowing that when
it was accomplished my own doom would be sealed forever. While I
delayed, however, she grew worse, and I felt that it would be criminal
to hesitate any longer. I have now fulfilled my part--it remains for you
to act upon your own responsibility. My strength exerted for her has
carried me so far--I can go no further."
As he uttered these words he rose and turned away his head. I grasped
his hand and tried to detain him. He stood and listened while I
expressed the unbounded gratitude and admiration with which his conduct
inspired me, and explained, hurriedly, the fascination that had held me
in a similar trance to that which he had just described. But he made no
observation on what I said. It appeared as if he had resolved to speak
no more on the subject; and he exhibited such signs of weariness and
pain that I thought it would be unreasonable to solicit his advice at
that moment. And so we parted for the night.
VIII.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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