Harper's New Monthly Magazine, Volume 2, No. 12, May, 1851.Various
History
Harper's New Monthly Magazine, Volume 2, No. 12, May, 1851.
Various
American literature -- Periodicals; Civilization -- Periodicals; Culture -- Periodicals
The prospect of meeting Astræa excluded all other considerations. As
impediments to the flow of a current only serve to increase its force,
so the opposition which the dwarf had thrown in my way gave an
additional impetus to my feelings. The very publicity which our
intercourse had attracted altered our relations to each other. It was no
longer possible to indulge in the romantic dreams, secret looks, and
stolen conversations with which we had hitherto pampered our
imagination; it was necessary to act. I felt the responsibility that was
thus cast upon me; and I confess that I was rather obliged to my
villainous Mephistophiles than angry with him for having, as it were,
brought all my wayward raptures to so immediate and decisive a
conclusion. As to his anathemas and warnings, I treated them as so much
buffoonery on the wrong side of the grotesque. In short, I was too much
engrossed by the approaching interview, and too much intoxicated by the
contemplation of the result to which it inevitably led, to think at all
about that imp of darkness and his ludicrous fulminations. Astræa
occupied brain and heart, and left no room for my tormentor.
I fancied she looked unusually happy that morning; but not so happy as I
was, not so disturbed and unsettled by happiness. She was perfectly
tranquil, and it was evident that nothing had transpired in the interval
to awaken a suspicion of what had occurred between me and the dwarf. She
observed at once that a change had taken place in my manner.
"You are in marvelously high spirits to-day," she said; "but this
exuberant gayety is not quite natural to you."
"High spirits! I am not conscious of it."
"So much the worse," she replied; then, placing her hand upon my arm,
and looking earnestly at me, she added, "something has happened since I
saw you. What is it? It would be wrong, and useless as well as wrong, to
affect to deny it."
I had noticed at times in Astræa an air of solemnity, which would fall
upon her face like a shadow, slowly receding again before its habitual,
but always subdued brightness; and occasionally I imagined that I
detected a sudden and brief sternness in her eyes, which conveyed an
impression that she was interrogating with their concentrated rays, the
concealed thoughts of the person upon whom they were directed. These
were some of the outward signs of that mystery of her nature which I
never could penetrate. Upon this occasion a world of latent doubts and
suspicions appeared to be condensed in her look. It seemed as if in that
single glance she read the whole incident which, to spare her feelings,
I was so unwilling to disclose.
"What do you suppose, Astræa," I inquired, "can have happened since I
saw you?"
"You are not candid with me," she returned. "I ask you a question, and
you answer by asking me another. If nothing has happened, you can easily
satisfy me; if it be otherwise, and you are silent, I must draw my own
conclusions."
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