"No, Cedric, Mrs. Bigelow is well off; don't you know what a nice house she has?" "But she sleeps in the hen-coop, papa." "Why, Cedric!" "She said she did." "What do you mean?" "Don't you remember when she was here to dinner night before last she excused herself, and said she must go home early because she went to bed with the chickens!" * * * * * ELDERLY GENTLEMAN. "Well, my son, can you tell me what little boys are good for, anyway?" BOY. "Yes, sir; they're good to make men out of." * * * * * He was a delicate young man in a pink shirt and duck trousers, both of which he wore in a pompous and conceited manner. He was seated in the train dangling his tennis racquet, and busily amusing a number of bright young ladies and gentlemen of his party. "Ah, how good! Here's the conductor. Watch me astonish him." "Ticket, sir," said the conductor. "My dear man," said the young man, "my--er--face is my ticket." The conductor smiled and looked around at the young man's friends, and then, in a polite and apologetic manner, said, "I beg your pardon, ladies and gentlemen, but my orders are to punch all tickets, and I'm afraid I might destroy this ticket so much that I can't turn it in at the end of the run." Here the young man colored redder than his shirt, and hastily produced his ticket amid shouts of laughter from his friends. * * * * * The penny-in-the-slot-machine can be found in the remotest portions of the backwoods, and sometimes it is about the only thing to remind one of civilization that can be found there. A weary hunting party stopped at a small hotel off in the backwoods not long ago, and wishing to remove the evidences of their long tramp before supper, found after washing that to secure a towel they would be obliged to make use of a slot-machine that stood next to the wash-basin. The sign read, "To obtain a clean towel put a penny in the slot, and pull the drawer slowly out." One of the party was somewhat of a wag, and procuring all the coppers he could gather he proceeded to abstract the towels one at a time. He had reached the fifth towel when the proprietor entered to wash his hands. He gazed at the man with the five towels in astonishment. The wag laughingly complimented the proprietor upon his enterprise in selling new towels for such a little money. It is needless to say the proprietor later put up a sign that read, "For the use of a clean towel put a penny in the slot." * * * * *