clear tones thanked the club for their ovation. Seen on a public stage, an old gentleman madly rushing up stairs to a window to thank himself for serenading himself would cause a good deal of laughter. ODD ITEMS FROM EVERYWHERE. It was a very homely old lady in Scotland who remarked, as she gazed into a looking-glass, that they didn't make as good mirrors to-day as they did when she was a girl, because she thought modern looking-glasses made her look so old. * * * * * It was said to be a Maine man who told an agent for a cyclopædia that he didn't want one, because he hadn't time to learn to ride one, and he didn't wish to risk his neck trying it, anyhow. * * * * * A story is told of a grocer engaged in business in a London suburb, to the effect that he once declined to attend a very popular concert even though a free ticket was offered him. "Ye see," he said to the person who gave him the ticket, "if I went I'd see so many people who owe me money for groceries it would spoil my fun, and the sight o' me would spoil theirs. I'll stay at home." * * * * * Here is a dog story, which you can believe or not as you please. A gentleman remarked of a friend's dog that the two eyes of the animal were remarkably different in size. "Yes," was the reply, "and he takes a mean advantage of the fact whenever I have a stranger to dine with me. He first gets fed at one side of my guest, and then goes round the table to his other side, and pretends to be another dog." [Illustration: HARPER'S YOUNG PEOPLE Portrait Gallery. Copyright, 1895, Harper & Brothers.] [Illustration: Signature] End of Project Gutenberg's Harper's Round Table, May 21, 1895, by Various