An item concerning Washington Irving, for the truth of which we cannot vouch, although it contains a deal of good advice for certain youngsters of the present time, has lately come to our notice. It is to this intent: Washington Irving, in his youth, had a longing to go to sea and be a pirate. He determined to make the attempt, but wisely decided to prepare himself for it by preliminary experience. He began by eating salt pork. That made him sick. He then slept for a night or so on hard boards. That made him sore. It was enough. He had no more desire to go away. Other boys who want to capture men-of-war, or who desire to go scouting and scalp Indians, would do well to imitate young Irving's example. ANECDOTE OF LESSING. Absent-mindedness has been frequently a characteristic of men of fame. It is to be supposed, no doubt, that their minds have been so wholly absorbed by great matters that the smaller, more trivial things of life have been considered unworthy of their attention. Among men of this stamp who have suffered in this way was Lessing, a famous German writer of plays and books of criticism. Lessing discovered at one period of his life that he was being robbed of his ready money by some person in his home, and, unable to determine who the culprit was, he put the servants of his household to a test by leaving a handful of gold upon his breakfast table one morning. Meeting a friend he told him what he had done. "That was risky," said his friend. "How much did you leave there?" "Dear me!" cried Lessing. "I quite forgot to count." A BUSINESSLIKE BEGGAR. They tell a story of an enterprising beggar of Paris who went about with a sign "I am blind" hung around his neck. "But you are not blind!" said a man of whom he asked alms. "I know that," said the beggar. "But the man whose business I bought was. He used to make ten francs a day on this route with this sign. I bought him out. Pray help a poor blind man a little, sir." A CURIOUS DEFINITION. A great many persons have discussed the question as to what is the true definition of the word gentleman. The ideas advanced on the subject are generally entertaining, novel, and of great variety, but there has probably never been a more singular definition given than that of the Irishman who was asked his opinion on the subject. "Sure, sorr," he replied, "a gintleman is a--well, oi should say he was a mon what ates jam on his mutton, sorr." A BARBER'S JOKE. A well-known American clergyman went into a barber shop one morning, and being somewhat of a joker, said to the barber, "My friend, you may cut my hair as short as you would like my sermons to be." The barber immediately got out his razor and proceeded to shave the doctor's head. "Hold on!" cried the doctor. "Are you going to take it all off?" "You told me to, doctor," said the barber. "I don't want any of your sermons." End of Project Gutenberg's Harper's Round Table, May 28, 1895, by Various