He stooped over her and tried again to take her hand. But she drew it
away, and sat up in her chair. She was very white, and there were tears
in her eyes.
"I've got something to say to you," she said, with evident difficulty,
"which--I'm afraid--will surprise you very much. Of course I ought to
have told you--long ago. But I'm a coward, and--and--it was all so
horrible. I am not what you suppose me. I'm--a married woman--at least I
was. I divorced my husband--eighteen months ago. I'm quite free now. I
thought if you really cared about me--I should of course have to tell you
some time--but I've been letting it go on. It was very wrong of me--I
know it was very wrong!"
And bowing her face on her knees, she burst into a passion of weeping,
the weeping of a child who was yet a woman. The mingled immaturity and
intensity of her nature found its expression in the very abandonment of
her tears.
Ellesborough, too, had turned pale. He was astounded by what
she said. His thoughts rushed back over the six weeks of their
friendship--recalling his first impressions of something mysterious
and unexplained.
But of late, he had entirely forgotten them. She had talked so frankly
and simply of her father and mother--of her father's missionary work in
Canada, and her early journeys with him; and of her brother in Ontario,
his children and his letters. Once she had handed him a letter from this
brother to read, and he had been struck by the refined and affectionate
tone of it. Here were the same family relations as his own. His heart,
his taste were satisfied. If Rachel Henderson accepted him he would be
bringing his mother a daughter she would find it easy to love.
And all the time--instead of an unmarried girl, with the experiences
of love and marriage before her--she had been already married--and
divorced! Another man had loved and possessed her--and even if she were
innocent--but of course she was innocent!--there must be some ugly story
involved.
He tried to collect his thoughts--but all his consciousness seemed to be
bruised and in pain. He could only put his hand on her hair, and say
incoherent things,--
"Don't cry so, dear--don't cry!"
And even as he spoke he felt with bewilderment how--in a moment--their
respective attitudes had changed. She checked her sobs.
"Sit there!" she said, pointing peremptorily to a seat opposite. Then she
looked round her.
"Where is Janet?"
"She went to the village."
Rachel dried her eyes, and with trembling hands smoothed her hair back
from her face.
"I'll try and tell it shortly. It's a horrible tale."
"Do you feel able to tell it?"
For he was aghast at her pallor--the alteration in her whole aspect.
"I must," she wailed. "Weren't you--weren't you just going to ask me to
marry you?"
Strange question!--strange frowning eyes!
"I was," he said gravely. "Didn't you know I should?"
"No, no, I didn't know!" she said piteously. "I was never _sure_--till
you looked at me then. I wouldn't be sure!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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