Exiles -- Russia (Federation) -- Siberia -- Fiction; Prisons -- Russia (Federation) -- Siberia -- Fiction
But, even in this new freedom, there was also a novel sense of
restraint, in the ever present knowledge that they two, of all people
in the world, were alone together in surely as strange and anomalous
a companionship as the world had ever seen.
And these mingled feelings again made at once for speech and for
silence, and so their talk was intermittent and discursive.
Pavlof, when he spoke to her, kept his eyes rigidly on the glowing
embers, lest she should see in them that which would not be
suppressed, but which he still would not have her see. And how
should he, untutored man, know that she saw it all in the very
stiffness of his manner, that it cried aloud to her in every tone of
his voice whenever he pronounced her name.
For to woman has been given a sense denied as a rule to man. She
knows by instinct when a man loves her. And Hope Palma knew that
this man loved her still, in spite of himself, as much as he had ever
loved her, and that was with every fibre of his being.
And so, when her eyes rested on him, she already found a difference
in him since Anna Vassilievna left them. For eyes, after all, are
but windows, and the soul that looks out of them colours all it sees
with somewhat of itself.
And yet, again, perhaps, after all, there was in him a subtle and
almost indefinable change bred of these new circumstances--the
unintentional outward manifestation of these mixed feelings of
freedom and restraint. He was at once stiffer and gentler than when
Anna was there. For then he had to assume a warmth of demeanour
befitting their supposed relationship, and to both of them it was
merely an assumption and meant nothing. And now that no assumption
was necessary, though all the warmth was in him still, his fear lest
his real feelings should show through stiffened his manner and made
it seem unduly cold and formal.
Many were the nights they sat so, during the first weeks of their
release from Madame Roskova's kindly supervision, discussing at
times, and from every point of view, Serge's chances of escape and
the prospects of their hearing of it, but as often sitting in the
silence of their long, long thoughts.
"You really think Serge would be able to get clear away, Paul
Ivanuitch?" she would ask.
"From all we could learn there was no great difficulty, Hope
Ivanovna. It is not like Kara, you see. Will you pardon me reminding
you again that here I am Serge Petrovitch----"
"Oh, I am sorry. I cannot get used to it."
"It is only that I fear if you call me Paul Ivanuitch in private it
may slip out at other times and lead to trouble."
"I will remember. You see, I have always thought of you as Paul
Ivanuitch, and it is not easy to begin thinking of you as Serge
Petrovitch."
"I know, and I am sorry for the necessity. If it were not of
importance I would not ask it."
"And when do you think is the soonest we could hear from him?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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