Dined with Mr. Wilberforce at Palace Yard. It was very
agreeable, as there was no one else. Speaking of the slave
trade, I mentioned the words, 'Shall I not visit for these
things?' and found my heart so affected that I could with
difficulty refrain from tears. Went with Mr. W. to the House of
Commons, where I was surprised and charmed with Mr. Pitt's
eloquence. Ah, thought I, if these powers of oratory were now
employed in recommending the Gospel!
On his way back to Cambridge, through London, he
Went to St. Paul's, to see Sir W. Jones's monument; the sight of
the interior of the dome filled my soul with inexpressible ideas
of the grandeur of God, and the glory of heaven, much the same
as I had at the sight of a painted vaulted roof in the British
Museum. I could scarcely believe that I might be in the
immediate enjoyments of such glory in another hour. In the
evening the sound of sacred music, with the sight of a rural
landscape, imparted some indescribable emotions after the glory
of God, by diligence in His work. To preach the Gospel for the
salvation of my poor fellow-creatures, that they might obtain
the salvation which is in Christ Jesus, with eternal glory,
seemed a very sweet and precious employment. Lydia then, again,
seemed a small hindrance.
His duties as examiner, tutor, and in charge of Lolworth, and home
mission work in Wall's Lane, the hospital and almshouse, left him
little leisure, and that he gave to the Bengali grammars of Halhed and
Carey, to Carey's Bengali New Testament, to Arabic grammars, and to
the missionary accounts in the _Christian Observer_, for which, also,
he wrote. Referring, evidently, to Carey's convert, he wrote:
The account of a Brahmin preaching the Gospel delighted me most
exceedingly. I could not help blessing God for thus glorifying
Himself.... I was much pained and humbled at reflecting that it
has never yet, to my knowledge, pleased God to awaken one soul
by my means, either in public or private,--shame be to myself.
Simeon gave me a letter from Mr. Brown of Calcutta, which gave
me great delight on many accounts. Speaking of me, he says, 'Let
him marry, and come out at once.' I thought of Lydia with great
tenderness, but without pain at my determination to go out
single. I found great affection in prayer for my dear brethren
at Calcutta, for the establishing of Christ's Kingdom among the
poor Gentiles, and for my being sent among them, if it were His
will.
Thinking my mind was in need of recreation, I took up Lord
Teignmouth's _Life of Sir William Jones_, and read till tea.
Low spirits at church, through being about to preach old
sermons, which I feel so ashamed of offering to God, that I
believe I shall rather leave everything undone, than not write
one new one at least every week.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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