English fiction -- 20th century; Lancashire (England) -- Fiction
He was thinking of the small profanities of this death rather than of
the death itself. He hadn’t realized that yet, he was probing his way
through the attendant circumstances to the depths of his tragedy. He
knew that he would never lie beneath the stars again with Annie while
the breeze soughed through the heather and she crooned old songs of the
roads in his ear: he knew, but he did not believe it yet. She had been
so utterly protective of him. If she took down her hair, and held it
from her, and he crept beneath its curious warmth, what had mattered
then? He had loved her and by the grace of Phoebe--though he was not
thinking of Phoebe now--they had been given leave to love and to enjoy
each other in the hours which were not the factory’s.
The engine, thumped horribly on his ear and a gust of passionate hatred
struggled to make itself articulate. “You fiend!” he cried. “Curse you,
curse you!”
When an overseer came to tell him that a hand-cart was at the gates to
take Annie’s body and the baby home, and that Phoebe might go with him,
he was lying, dazed, on the floor and mechanically did what he was told
to do. He had no volition in him, and Mr. Barraclough, professional
observer, noting both his hysteria and his stupor decided that he had
found his man at last. Providence had ordained that Annie should die to
make an instrument for Richard Needham’s emissary.
In the days of her youth, Phoebe had her follies as she had her
prettiness; now, schooled by adversity, an old woman of forty, she was
without illusions as she was without comeliness; she had nothing but her
son, and, hidden like a miser’s gold, her hatred of the Hepplestalls,
of Reuben who betrayed her, of Dorothy whom he married, of his sons who
stood where her son should have stood. For two seconds she was weakened
now, for two seconds: as she folded Annie’s baby in her shawl and held
him closely to her she had the thought that she must go to Reuben with a
plea for help, then put that thought away.
“Don’t worry your head about the childer, lad,” she said, “I’ll manage.”
She would work in the factory, she would order their cottage, she would
rear the babies, she would pay some older woman who was past more active
work a small sum (but the accepted rate) to look after the babies while
she was in the factory. She would take this burden off his shoulders
as she had taken the burden of housework off Annie’s. She had permitted
John and Annie to enjoy the luxury of love and now she was permitting
John the luxury of woe. She said that she would “manage,” he knew the
enormous implications of the word, but knew, because she said it, that
she would keep her promise. There was no limit to his faith in Phoebe
and he touched her shoulder gently, undemonstratively, saying in that
simple gesture all his unspeakable gratitude, accepting what she gave
not because he underrated it, not because he did not understand, but
because it was the only thing to do.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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