Hey Rub-a-dub-dub: A Book of the Mystery and Wonder and Terror of LifeDreiser, Theodore
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Hey Rub-a-dub-dub: A Book of the Mystery and Wonder and Terror of Life
Dreiser, Theodore
American essays -- 20th century
Just the same, if I had a few hundred thousand dollars I would enlarge
my laboratory and pursue this subject. I believe that something may be
discovered. I believe that I could prove it in the course of time. Why,
snow crystals, tree and flower forms, everything, gives us a hint,
sometimes instantaneously. Why do snow crystals assume almost
instantaneously and out of nothing their beautiful forms? The
controlling impulse is certainly artistic, isn’t it, and outside of
anything we know? (_He notes that he is pressing the matter too far and
boring his two friends._) Well, good night. Glad to see you two at the
meeting to-night. It was interesting, wasn’t it?
BARRETT
Very. (_To himself._) He’s a terrible bore.
MITCHELL
Delightful. (_To himself._) I’m glad he’s done. (_They bow and depart._)
SYPHERS
Dolts! Fogies! That’s always the way, dull and cautious.
BARRETT
(_As they walk up the street._) An ingenious theory, but dangerously
speculative. He ought to read Stromeyer on “Impulse.”
MITCHELL
I often wonder about his work and just how sound he is.
(_SYPHERS reaches his own door and goes up the steps, unlocks it and
mounts the inside stairs to his room. He lights the gas in a chamber
which is half library and half bedroom._)
SYPHERS
(_Seating himself and gazing about dreamily._) A great idea. I’m sure of
it. Along this line is coming a scientific revolution. If I had enough
radium and stromium, why--but they cost so much. (_He yawns._) Life is
really a dream. We are all an emanation, a shadow, a moving picture cast
on a screen of ether. I’m sure of it. (_He gazes about, yawns again, and
begins to undress._)
A TELEGRAPH INSTRUMENT
(_At 110th Street Station._) Tick--tick-tick----
tick-tick-tick--tick-tick---- tick--tick-tick-tick-tick-tick----
TELEGRAPH OPERATOR
There goes that blamed machine again (_begins to write_.) “Professor
George Paul Syphers, 621 West 115th Street, New York City. Your uncle,
Edward Fillmore, died at eleven to-night. By the terms of his will you
are the sole heir to the bulk of his fortune, three hundred thousand
dollars. Come at once. A. J. Larywind, Counsellor,” (_Aside._) I wish
someone would leave me three thousand cents. (_To a waiting messenger._)
Here, Patsy. Take this up to 115th Street.
PATSY LAFERTY
(_Cock-eyed, overgrown, contentious._) Sure, it’s just de night to keep
busy. It’s goin’ to rain, an’ it’s me late watch. Oh, well, dere’s
nuttin’ like bein’ poor an’ honest. (_He seizes a black cotton umbrella
almost as large as himself and goes out._)
SYPHERS
(_Crawling into his bed._) The curious thing is: why should any dominant
force outside this seeming life wish to create it--the smallness, the
pettiness, the suffering? I must write a book about that. Here I
am--(_he suddenly bethinks him of opening a window and gets out. Looking
out_). It’s going to rain, I do believe. (_He returns and stretches
himself to rest._) There, it’s thundering already.
PATSY LAFERTY
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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