His Majesty Baby and Some Common PeopleMaclaren, Ian
General
His Majesty Baby and Some Common People
Maclaren, Ian
Fiction; Short stories
My countryman arrives at the station with two and a half minutes to
spare, and laden with small baggage. A porter carries his rug and an
ulster, very likely also a hat-box and a bag with books, papers, and
such like in it, to say nothing of an umbrella and a mackintosh, and he
secures his seat at the last moment. He fastens his hat above his head,
puts on a travelling cap, changes into an ulster, if it be winter time,
and throws a rug over his knee; he puts on travelling gloves, and gets
out the Times, and he will sit without budging and read his _Times_
without intermission for fifty minutes. Besides these trifles with him
in the carriage, he has a portmanteau in the van, which he hopes has
been addressed, and which the porter promised to see put in, and he will
scramble for it at his terminus along with a hundred other passengers,
who are all trying to identify and extricate their luggage from a huge
heap on the platform.
The American reaches the dépôt by a trolley car ten minutes at least
before the hour of departure, having sent his heavy luggage, if he
has any--which is not likely--by baggage express. His only personal
equipment is a slim and compact valise, which, in regard to opening and
shutting, is a marvel of convenience. This he carries in his hand, and
places beneath or beside the seat which he has secured two days before.
He does not carry a rug because the cars are heated, nor an umbrella
because it is not the rainy season. His top coat he hangs up beside his
seat, as if he were in his own house; and his hat if he so please. He
does not wear a travelling-cap any more than in his own drawing-room,
nor gloves in the train any more than in his own office. Should his
hands be soiled, he goes to the lavatory where there are large basins
and an ample supply of water, and if his coat be dusty, there is a
negro porter in every car to brush it. The immense repose of the English
traveller is quite impossible for this mercurial man, whose blood and
whose brain are ever on a stir. Very rarely will you see him reading a
book, because he is not accustomed to read, and the demands of a book
would lessen his time for business meditation. Boys with newspapers
circulate through the cars, and he buys each new paper as it appears
at the different towns. Whether it be Republican, or Democratic, or a
family paper or a yellow journal, does not matter to him; he glances at
the startling headings, takes an accident or a political scandal at
a mouthful, skims over the business news, sees whether anything has
happened at the Philippines, notes that the canard of the morning has
been contradicted in the afternoon, and flings paper after paper on
the floor. Three minutes or, in cases of extreme interest, five minutes
suffice for each paper, and by-and-by this omnivorous reader, who
consumes a paper even more quickly than his food, is knee deep in
printed information or sensation. For two minutes he is almost quiet,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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