Bildungsromans; Christian fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
“You must learn,” she went on, “to keep your life and your imaginations
apart. You are always letting them mix, and that confuses everything. A
poet of all men ought not to make the mistake. It is quite monstrous! as
monstrous as if a painter joined the halves of two different animals!
Poetry is so unlike life, that to carry the one into the other is to
make the poet a ridiculous parody of a man! The moment that, instead of
standing aloof and regarding, he plunges in, he becomes a traitor to his
art, and is no longer able to represent things as they ought to be, but
can not be. My mother and I will open to you the best doors in London
because we like you; but pray do not dream of more. Do, please, Walter,
leave it possible for me to say I like you--oh, so much!”
She had been staring out of the window as she spoke; now she turned her
eyes upon him where he sat, crushed and broken, beside her. A breath of
compassion seemed to ruffle the cold lake of her spirit, and she looked
at him in silence for a moment. He did not raise his eyes, but her tone
made her present to his whole being as she said,
“I _don’t_ want to break your heart, my poet! It was a lovely
thought--why did you spoil it?--that we two understood and loved each
other in a way nobody could have a right to interfere with!”
Walter lifted his head. The word _loved_ wrought on him like a spell: he
was sadly a creature of words! He looked at her with flushed face and
flashing eyes. Often had Lufa thought him handsome, but she had never
felt it as she did now.
“Let it be so!” he said. “Be my sister-friend, Lufa. Leave it only to me
to remember how foolish I once made myself in your beautiful eyes--how
miserable always in my own blind heart.”
So little of a man was our poet, that out of pure disappointment and
self-pity he burst into a passion of weeping. The world seemed lost to
him, as it seemed at such a time to many a better man. But to the true
the truth of things will sooner or later assert itself, and neither this
world nor the next prove lost to him. A man’s well-being does not depend
on any woman. The woman did not create, and could not have contented
him. No woman can ruin a man by refusing him, or even by accepting him,
though she may go far toward it. There is one who has upon him a perfect
claim, at the entrancing recognition of which he will one day cry out,
“This, then, is what it all meant!” The lamp of poetry may for a time go
out in the heart of the poet, and nature seem a blank; but where the
truth is, the poetry must be; and truth is, however the untrue may fail
to see it. Surely that man is a fool who, on the ground that there can
not be such a God as other fools assert, or such a God as alone he is
able to imagine, says there is no God!
Lufa’s bosom heaved, and she gave a little sob; her sentiment, the skin
of her heart, was touched, for the thing was pathetic! A mist came over
her eyes, and might, had she ever wept, have turned to tears.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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